Safety
by A. Minerva
Summary: Lit, the way it should have been. Chapter 25 is a little on the R side of PG13, but I think I'm still safe. READ please! Only review if the gods tell you to.
1. A Choice

This is my first fanfic, so go easy on me! I don't believe in asking for reviews. Only review if you read something that makes you want to. I will keep writing as long as I don't receive hate reviews or something.  
  
All of the characters in this story belong to Amy S-P and the WB. All I did was write the story. This story takes place right after the dance marathon episode.  
  
This chapter is really short because it's the first chapter and I just needed to introduce everything. The next chapters will be much longer, I promise!  
  
Rory closed her book and turned out her lamp. She was tired, but had been having trouble sleeping ever since the night of the dance marathon. She wasn't sure if it was because of Jess or Dean, but all of her emotions and feelings were compressed into a large confused lump in the pit of her stomach, and they were preventing her from doing much of anything that she used to do. She was having trouble paying attention in class, and whenever she talked to her friends, she always found her mind wandering to the two guys in her life that were making her feel so mixed up inside.  
  
Rory turned onto her side and continued thinking. She thought she had loved Dean. At one point, she probably had. But then Jess had come to Stars Hollow, and after a while she wasn't so sure of her feelings for Dean. All she knew was that Dean was safe. Jess was definitely not safe. So why was she drawn to him?  
  
Rory got up out of her bed. There was no way she was getting any sleep until she sorted this out. She took a piece of paper and a pen and decided to do what she always did in these types of situations. She made one of her famous pro and con lists, and through it, she discovered what she had been trying to keep from herself.  
  
Dean was safe, it was true, but other than that, there was really no reason the two of them should be together anymore. She had loved him. He was a sweet, good boyfriend, and she would always have a special place for him in her heart, but Jess was new and exciting, and there was a sort of chemistry between them that she had never felt with Dean.  
  
Rory stood up from her desk and got back in bed. She was going to have to take a step outside the box where she always felt safe and let herself believe that she really liked Jess, and that it was possible, likely even, that she could grow to love him even more than she had loved Dean. 


	2. Coffee and Twist

All of the characters in this story belong to Amy S-P and the WB. All I did was write the story. This story takes place right after the dance marathon episode.  
  
Rory woke up refreshed the next morning, although she was a bit anxious. She was a very reserved person usually, and she had trouble admitting new feelings to anyone, even herself. She was, however, glad that she had finally figured out what had been making her so upset.  
  
She got dressed in her school uniform and pulled her hair back into a severe ponytail. No-nonsense Rory. She liked hiding behind this shell that she had created for herself, especially when she was confused with her feelings. She wasn't wearing her heart on her sleeve. That was a sure-fire way of getting hurt. One last glance in the mirror, and she grabbed her book bag and walked into the kitchen.  
  
"Mom?" she called.  
  
"Yes darling daughter, love of my life?" Lorelai bounced into the kitchen. Rory was taken aback by this behavior until she saw the blue mug that her mother was already holding, surely filled to the brim with coffee.  
  
"Well, I can see that you've already gotten some coffee for yourself, but can we stop by Luke's before I have to go to school?"  
  
"Of course we can! His coffee is much better than this crap." Lorelai glanced in her cup before dumping the entire thing down the drain and then continuing her bouncing as she grabbed her purse. "Besides, today is Danish day!"  
  
"Well then we have to go to Luke's. There's no way we could miss Danish day!" Rory hooked arms with her mother and they walked towards the front door.  
  
"I've taught you well, young Padawan."  
  
"Mom, are you ever planning on stopping quoting Star Wars?"  
  
"No way! Hayden is hot!" Lorelai opened the front door and closed and locked it behind her.  
  
Lorelai and Rory walked quickly to Luke's where they were greeted by their favorite sarcastic, grumpy diner-owner. Rory half-heard as her mother greeted Luke in her usual high-pitched tone. Luke grumbled as he left them at their table and then quickly returned with two Danishes and two cups of coffee, one each for mother and daughter. He stayed a moment to say hello to Rory before he left to serve the other customers. Rory barely noticed any of this. She was more interested in the dark-haired type who was pouring coffee for a customer at the other end of the diner.  
  
Jess was wearing his usual scowl, but no one could protest the chemistry when he turned and saw Rory looking at him. With a half smile and a small nod, Jess continued his work. Rory watched him as he made his rounds with the pitcher of hot coffee. He was wearing a long sleeved t-shirt and cargo pants, of course with a book folded into one of his pockets. She wondered which it was. He walked towards the two girls and asked, "More coffee?"  
  
Lorelai eagerly lifted her already half-empty cup and said, "Please sir, may I have some more?"  
  
"Twist," Rory said under he breath, without even thinking. It was like a sign. Some couples had a song; she and Jess had a book. Wait, couples? She was already considering them a couple when she hadn't even told him how she felt? Jess caught Rory's eye and didn't break eye contact as he filled her cup and then slowly walked away. When he turned, Rory was able to catch a glimpse of the title of the book he was carrying in his pocket. It was Oliver Twist. Maybe she didn't need to tell Jess how she felt. Maybe he already knew. 


	3. A Conversation at the Diner

All of the characters in this story belong to Amy S-P and the WB. All I did was write the story. This story takes place right after the dance marathon episode.  
  
---------------------------------------------------------------------------- ------------------------------ "Mom?" Rory called as she walked into the house. "Mom?" Rory dropped her backpack in her bedroom and walked into the kitchen. She saw a note on the kitchen table that read, "I'm at Luke's, come meet me when you get home." Rory went back to her bedroom and changed into jeans and a t-shirt, and then she made her way over to Luke's.  
  
Rory opened the door to the diner and Lorelai ran over to her and grabbed her arm. "Rory, Rory, mean Lukie won't give me any coffee!"  
  
"Lorelai, you've had three cups already. Give it a rest. Maybe some juice?"  
  
"Juice? Juice! Never! Rory, explain to this man what he has suggested."  
  
"Luke," Rory said, amused, "Wouldn't it be easier to just give her the coffee?"  
  
Luke let out an overdramatic sigh and went to get the coffee cup. Rory and Lorelai walked over to a table. "Daughter, you have saved me from the peril that is Luke. Let me repay you by buying you a cup of the elixir of life!"  
  
"Mom, we never pay. For anything."  
  
"You're no fun. Want a burger or something?"  
  
"Do you even have to ask? Who knows what kind of confit à la something Grandma has in store for us tonight."  
  
"Tonight? Tonight is Friday night? Oh of all nights, why does it have to be Friday?"  
  
"Friday night dinners?" Rory looked over her shoulder to see Jess holding a coffee pot, ready to fill their mugs.  
  
"Yep," Rory said with a smile. Yep? Yep? Why did she have to say yep? She needed to say something else fast.  
  
"Can I take your order ladies?" Jess asked.  
  
"Burgers please. Two of them," Rory said.  
  
"With fries," added Lorelai.  
  
"Coming right up," Jess replied as he turned and walked towards the kitchen.  
  
Rory wanted to say something. Anything. Should she invite him to dinner? No, her Grandmother wouldn't like that at all. Well she had to say something.  
  
"Hey Jess!"  
  
"Yeah?" Jess said, turning.  
  
"Umm. there's a new bookstore opening in Hartford this weekend. Well, it's actually not new; it's a used bookstore. A new used bookstore. Haha, an oxymoron, you know? Anyways-" Rory was rambling. She was fidgeting with her hands. She quickly slipped them into her pockets.  
  
"Sure."  
  
"Huh?" Rory looked up from her feet and into Jess' eyes.  
  
"Let's check it out. Saturday? Say, 11?"  
  
"Great. I'll, I'll see you then."  
  
"Cool." Jess' face showed no emotion, but that was Jess. Rory was going to have to get used to that. Jess turned again and started back towards the kitchen, and Rory walked back over to where her mother was sitting.  
  
"What was that all about?" Lorelai asked.  
  
"Nothing, Jess and I are just going to go into Hartford this weekend."  
  
Lorelai raised an eyebrow.  
  
"Don't worry, mom, we're just friends." For now. 


	4. Trip to Hartford?

All of the characters in this story belong to Amy S-P and the WB. All I did was write the story. This story takes place right after the dance marathon episode.  
  
---------------------------------------------------------------------------- ----------------------  
  
Rory woke up, looked at her watch, and groaned. 7:00, time to get up. Then she registered that it was Saturday and smiled and rolled over to go back to sleep. She didn't have to get up for however many hours as she wanted. She could sleep all day.  
  
She could.  
  
If she wanted to. But for some reason, she couldn't fall back asleep. She tossed and turned for an hour before she sighed one last time and got out of bed. Where could she go? Was Luke's even opened this early on the weekends? Rory had never been up early enough to find out. She pulled on some jeans and a t-shirt and grabbed a sweatshirt as well. She saw The Amber Spyglass lying on her bedside table. She grabbed it as she walked out of her room. She left a note for her mom in the kitchen and then left the house, closing the front door quietly.  
  
She walked directly to the bridge. She sat down with her back up against the railing and began to read where she had left off. She didn't realize how much time had passed until her watch alarm went off, signaling the arrival of eleven o'clock.  
  
"Oh my God Jess!" she said, having just remembered their plans.  
  
"Yes?"  
  
Rory looked up and there was Jess with his back against a tree, looking at her from the nearby bank.  
  
"I-how-I mean." Rory was dumbfounded. She didn't know whether to apologize or demand an apology for scaring her. She didn't have to do either one.  
  
"I'm sorry for scaring you," Jess said, approaching her, "I didn't want to disturb you. You looked so. peaceful." He was smiling, and then suddenly his smile fell, "and stuff," he added, trying to keep his bad-boy image in tact.  
  
"No, that's really OK. I'm really sorry. I was just so involved with my book."  
  
"I noticed."  
  
"Yeah." Rory smiled shyly. She didn't really know what else to say.  
  
"Do you want to go to Hartford?"  
  
"Oh. Yeah, totally. I left my bag at home. Wanna walk over there with me and then we can go?"  
  
"Yeah, sure."  
  
The walk to the Gilmore house was relatively quiet, but Rory wasn't sure if she was imagining it when Jess reached three times for her hand and then pulled back at the last minute, replacing it in his pocket. They finally reached the front porch of the Gilmore house. When Rory opened the front door, Jess looked rather uncomfortable, like he didn't know what to do with himself.  
  
"Um, you can come inside if you want. I'll just be a second."  
  
"Ok," Jess responded, walking through the front door, and then, after a beat, walking towards the couch and sitting down.  
  
"I'll just get my bag." Rory said, walking towards her room. She grabbed it and walked back into the living room.  
  
"C'mere a second," Jess said. Rory walked over to the couch and sat down on the very edge, about a foot away from Jess. Jess laughed at this behavior.  
  
"Hey, you scared of me."  
  
"No," Rory responded, a little too fast.  
  
"Good." They sat in silence for a moment, and then Jess said, "What happened to us?"  
  
"What?"  
  
"Before the dance, before you broke up with Dean," Rory quickly downcast her eyes.  
  
"Sorry," Jess said, "what I mean is. I mean-"  
  
"I'm not scared of you," Rory said quietly, still looking at her shoes, "I'm scared of us."  
  
Jess' expression softened. "Hey. Don't be. Hey." Jess reached out for Rory's face. He took her chin gently and turned her face towards his. He stared into her eyes. Those sweet, innocent, blue eyes. He ran his hand down the side of her face and gently brushed her shoulder before letting it fall onto the couch. "There's no reason to be scared." Rory stared deep into his dark eyes, and then they slowly leaned towards each other for the sweetest kiss either one had ever given or received. With a soft brush of their lips on the others, they returned to their seated positions, staring into each others eyes. Rory then moved closer to Jess and rested her head on his shoulder, and he combed his hand through her hair. 


	5. A Chat with Lorelai

The characters and everything that is connected to them all belong to Amy S-P and the WB. The plot line and words here are mine.  
  
---------- Rory was a mess. When she had been sitting with Jess, everything had been perfect. Everything seemed right. But now, hours after he had risen after holding her like that for a long time, gently brushed his lips over hers once more, and silently left through the front door, Rory was pacing. She didn't know why this felt so. so wrong.  
  
You're not with Dean anymore, she told herself, you are allowed to like other people.  
  
But no matter how much she tried to convince herself that she was doing nothing wrong, she couldn't let herself relax. What she really wanted was to talk to her mother. She knew that Lorelai didn't really like Jess, but she also knew that her mother would give her good advice about what to do. The only problem was the note she had found after Jess had left:  
  
Rory, I'm at you-know-who's drinking some you-know-what. Come join me if you don't have too much homework. Love, Mom  
  
Rory did know who "you-know-who" was, but she didn't want to go there. Going to Luke's would only mean she would have to face Jess, and as much as she wanted to see him, another part of her was saying that she should wait until she had talked to her mother.  
  
With nothing else to do, Rory buried herself in her work. She tried not to think about anything but Harvard. Even in her usually very sensible mind, she had this idea that if she didn't think about her feelings, they would just go away.  
  
@@@@@  
  
"Hello darling daughter!" Lorelai called, coming in the front door. She waltzed into the kitchen. She saw Rory, sitting at the kitchen table, working furiously at her Calculus homework.  
  
"Hey baby cakes! Whatcha doing?"  
  
"Calculus."  
  
"Rory?" Lorelai said, reaching over to take the textbook that was propped up on a box of cookies. Rory looked up and frowned at her mother.  
"What?" she responded.  
  
"Do you have something you need to tell Mommy?"  
  
"Why do you ask?"  
  
"You seem upset."  
  
Was it that apparent? Rory sighed. "Yeah."  
  
They walked into the living room and sat on the couch.  
  
"Um. well." Rory clasped her hands, then unclasped them. She continued this folding and unfolding of her hands in her lap, furrowing her brow as she stared at them.  
  
"Yes?" Lorelai said, patiently.  
  
"Well. you remember the night of the dance marathon, right?"  
  
"Yes, I do believe that. unless Kirk winning was all another nightmare?"  
  
"No, that's the one, but that's not the part I'm talking about."  
  
Lorelai looked at her daughter kindly. "Are we talking about the part where you and Dean." Lorelai trailed off.  
  
"Um. not really. kind of." Rory began to systematically crack her knuckles, one by one. She looked at her mother's face. "We're talking about the part where Dean accused me of liking Jess as more than a friend."  
  
"Are we suggesting," Lorelai reached out to place a lock of Rory's hair behind her ear, "That Dean may have been right?"  
  
Rory stared at her mother, and Lorelai knew that she had been right. 


	6. Lorelai's Thoughts

Characters and some of the storyline belong to Amy S-P and the WB. Storyline and words belong to me.  
  
I know that this chapter is really short, I'm sorry. The next one will really make up for it, I promise. And I know that I promised we'd get to a PG-13 rating soon, so you can anticipate it in the next 2 or 3 chapters. Happy reading!  
  
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The conversation that Lorelai had just had with her daughter gave her a lot to think about. In a way, she had seen this coming. As much as she had loved seeing Rory with Dean, she wasn't blind. She had seen the connection between Jess and her daughter. It scared her that Rory was leaving the safety of Dean behind to possibly pursue a relationship with Jess, who was not safe. Was this not the boy who had gotten her daughter into a car crash just a short while ago? If Rory began seeing Jess more and more, who was to say that more accidents may occur, or things that were even worse?  
  
So why had she given her her blessing? Why had she told Rory to "go for it", to pursue a relationship that Lorelai did not approve of?  
  
In reality, she supposed that she knew deep down that Jess would not purposely hurt her daughter. The car crash had been an accident. She believed Rory when she told her that. She supposed that it could have happened just as easily with Dean. But she still did not feel totally safe with her daughter in the hands of that kid from the city.  
  
In the end, it was the look in Rory's eyes. Rory was such a sensible girl. Lorelai saw that and had seen it from the beginning. When Rory had come to her for advice, she saw how scared Rory looked that Lorelai would not approve of her relationship with Jess. But she could also see how much Rory wanted it, as scared as she was. Rory was in love with Jess. It was as simple as that. Although Rory might not know it yet, Lorelai could see it. She knew that once Rory discovered that she was in love with Jess, she would want to be with him whether Lorelai wanted her to or not. Lorelai wanted Rory to be able to come to her when that time came the way she had not been able to go to her own mother at sixteen.  
  
If Rory was going to be with Jess, Lorelai wanted to know about it. And Rory would only tell her about she relationship with Jess if she knew that Lorelai would not be angry. So she had given Rory her blessing. Now she just had to wait and watch as Rory and Jess' relationship unfolded. She just hoped that Rory would stay sensible and not make the same mistakes that she herself had made. 


	7. The End of Dean

Hey guys! I'm really sorry about the chapter mess-up. Here is the REAL chapter 7, and chapter 8 is almost done and should be up tonight!  
  
I really want to say thank you to everyone who reviewed. It's nice to know that people are actually reading and enjoying my stuff. I especially want to say thanks to smile, whose review was really in depth.  
  
Everything that you recognize from Gilmore Girls the show belongs to Amy S-P and the WB. Everything else is mine.  
  
-----  
  
Rory looked at her watch. She had been standing across the street from Doose's market for fifteen minutes. She sighed. This was ridiculous. She had to go in. In order for her to feel right with what was going on with Jess, she had to talk to Dean. Things at the dance marathon had ended so quickly, and she needed to sort things out with him before she felt right in this relationship with Jess.  
  
Rory took a deep breath and walked towards the familiar market. She walked in the door and saw Dean as soon as she walked in. Even though she was here to see him, she was still surprised by his presence. She was facing his back, but she recognized the hair. Had it really only been two weeks since she had been dancing so close to him, their bodies pressed together? If someone had asked her, only two weeks ago, if she would have been this scared to talk to Dean, what would she have said? She took another breath. She had to get this overwith. She had to do it now. Throwing her shoulders back, so that she appeared to be 100 times more confident than she actually felt, she approached the counter where Dean was ringing up a customer. On her way over, she grabbed a package of Twizzlers. For some reason, she felt like she needed something in her hand. She came up to Dean's counter.  
  
Dean looked up. He appeared startled for a moment, then he simply took the bag of candy from Rory, passed the scanner over them, and asked, still looking at the plastic wrapper, "Will that be all?"  
  
"Dean."  
  
"Paper or plastic?" He spat out through clenched teeth, still not looking at Rory.  
  
Rory dug a dollar out of her pocket, dropped it on the counter, and said, "We really need to talk." She reached out, almost subconsciously, and touched Dean's cheek. "Please?"  
  
Dean reacted to her touch like he would if she had put a molten piece of metal to his cheek. "Five minutes," he said quietly, and then he turned and left the store, leading Rory outside. He still hadn't looked at her.  
  
Once they got outside, Rory began to speak.  
  
"Dean. Look, I really didn't mean to hurt you?"  
  
"I know that. But you did."  
  
"I know, and I can't believe I did. You don't deserve to be hurt like that. You are such a good person. Dean, you were such a good boyfriend."  
  
Dean was racing ahead, and Rory was having a hard time keeping up with his long strides.  
  
"Is he better?"  
  
"What?"  
  
"Jess? Is he a better boyfriend?"  
  
"Dean, we aren't talking about Jess."  
  
"I asked a question."  
  
"Well, we aren't actually going out."  
  
"Yet." Dean paused, and then stopped walking, and turned to look at her. "Rory, I don't need this right now. We're never going to be together again. I understand that. And while I don't like it, I know that I am going to have to accept it. So can you just leave me alone now?"  
  
Rory's eyes filled with tears, but she choked them back. "Sure Dean, whatever you say."  
  
Dean turned on his heel and walked in brisk stride's back to Doose's.  
  
"I'm sorry!" she called after him, "I'm sorry."  
  
@@@@@  
  
Rory walked slowly into Luke's and sank down into a chair at the counter. Jess approached her, placed a blue mug in front of her, and filled it with coffee. He smiled, and then noticed her sad look.  
  
"What's wrong?"  
  
Rory looked up at him, wiped her eyes quickly, and forced a smile, "nothing."  
  
"You sure?"  
  
"Yeah. I just had to wrap some stuff up with Dean," Jess' face froze at his name, "but he didn't take it too well."  
  
Jess didn't know whether to be upset at Rory, or for her. He was used to having to deal with no one's emotions but his own. Now that he had found someone that he cared for, it was harder to only think for himself. "Oh. Well, um."  
  
"Don't worry," Rory sniffed, "I am so over him. I just. I hate making people upset."  
  
Jess smiled at how pure and innocent she was. She was such a good person. It was part of what he had been drawn to the moment he met her. "Well, you make me happy, if that helps."  
  
Rory smiled at him. "Thanks for the coffee. I'll see you later?"  
  
"Sure."  
  
On her walk home, Rory thought to herself about how quickly her feelings for Jess had grown. She had been thinking a lot about that kiss as well. It had been so sweet. So innocent. And she wanted more such kisses from him. She had to tell him. She would call him, she decided, as soon as she got home. She would leave a message on the phone in the apartment, asking Jess to meet her on the bridge that night. 


	8. The Beginning of Something

Hey guys! I'm really sorry that it took me so long to get this up. I don't know what's wrong with me! Anyways, enjoy!  
  
Everything that you recognize from Gilmore Girls the show belongs to Amy S- P and the WB. Everything else is mine.  
  
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Rory was sitting at the kitchen table bent over a piece of paper when Lorelai bounced through the front door.  
  
"How was your day today, darling daughter, love of my life?"  
  
"Mmm."  
  
"Rory? Everything OK?"  
  
Rory snapped up from her bent position, and then draped both arms over her paper. "Nothing! I mean, yes!"  
  
"Rory? Mommy knows when something is wrong. . ."  
  
"No, nothing is wrong. . ."  
  
"Does it have to do with Jess?"  
  
"I told you nothing is wrong! I'm just a little. . . wired is all. I had a lot of coffee today. And two of them were double espressos."  
  
Lorelai smiled. "Oh. Baby cakes, I told you that no one but me can drink more than 2 double espressos in one day."  
  
"I know."  
  
"All right, well, I just needed to come back to change my shoes. I broke a heel. I've got to be at the inn until about 7. Want to meet me at Luke's for dinner?"  
  
"Sure. I've got my cell. Call me when you're ready to meet."  
  
"All right sweetie. Bye."  
  
"Bye." Rory watched as her mother grabbed a pair of shoes from Rory's closet, put them on, and breezed out the front door. She leaned back down over her work.  
  
On the paper, Rory was trying to no avail to write out the message she would leave on Jess' machine. She didn't know what to tell him, because she still wasn't exactly sure what she wanted to say. Finally, she crumpled up the paper, put it in her pocket, and dialed the apartment. For a moment, she was nervous that Jess or Luke would pick up, so she breathed a sigh of relief when she heard the familiar voice of the diner owner, "Hey, this is Luke. Jess and I aren't here right now. Leave a message or try the diner." BEEP.  
  
"Hey Jess, this is Rory. Um, I was just wondering, uh, if you could meet me. Tonight. At 9 or so. You know where. Bye." She hung up the portable phone and then returned it to its cradle. She was a nervous wreck. She checked her watch: 5:30. She would take a nice long bath and then read for a while. She didn't have any homework left, and she needed to calm down.  
  
She ran her bath and then relaxed as she sank into the warm water. She closed her eyes and began to think. Why was she so nervous? This was Jess. Jess, who had grown to be one of her best friends. So why was she so nervous about going to meet him?  
  
Because of Dean, she admitted to herself. Before, Dean had been a pillar for her to lean on. Because she was going out with Dean, she knew that nothing could really happen with Jess, even if she wanted it to. Now that she didn't have Dean anymore, she knew that it was possible for something to happen with Jess. And as much as she wanted something to happen with Jess, she was afraid of change. Well, she was just going to have to get over that, she decided. Change wasn't always bad. In fact, she had a feeling that in this case, change was going to be exciting, and that was a good thing.  
  
@@@@@  
  
It was 6:45 when Rory's cell phone rang, bringing her back from the world of Jane Austen. She had decided to reread Pride and Prejudice, her favorite of the Jane Austen novels.  
  
"Hey."  
  
"Hey sweetie. I'm done over here. Want to meet me at Luke's for dinner?"  
  
"Sure thing. I'll walk over there now."  
  
"See you in five. Love you"  
  
"Love you too."  
  
Rory hung up her cell phone and looked around for her shoes. Upon finding them, she grabbed her sweatshirt and walked out the front door.  
  
She reached Luke's in what seemed like nothing and walked in the door just as Lorelai was saying, "Anywhere?" with a small smile to Luke.  
  
"Anywhere where there isn't already someone sitting there!" Luke added quickly, grabbing Lorelai by the shoulders and escorting her away from a full table to an empty one farther away from the door.  
  
"Steal all my fun! I'm going to have to think of a new trick for you. One that you don't know as well." Lorelai saw Rory entering the diner and opened her arms to her as she whined, "Rory! Luke knows my jokes too well. You're smart. Help me think of a new one."  
  
Rory hugged her mother and sat down with her. "Luke? Could we have a menu?" Lorelai called.  
  
"Lorelai. You know the menu forwards and backwards. And you always get one of maybe 3 things. Just pick something."  
  
"My goodness!" Lorelai said to Rory, loud enough for Luke to hear, "the service in this place is terrible."  
  
Luke heaved an overdramatic sigh and brought two menus over to Lorelai and Rory's table.  
  
"We'll get some coffees to start. And we need a few minutes to read the menu."  
  
Luke walked off in a huff to get their coffees, and Lorelai leaned over to Rory. "Isn't teasing Luke fun?"  
  
"Yeah, sure mom. Usually, I would agree with you. But today I'm hungry, so can we just order?"  
  
"You're no fun! But fine. If your tummy's talking, we'd best shut it up. Oh Lukie!"  
  
"Hey. What can I get you." But the voice wasn't that of the diner owner. Rory looked up to see Jess standing before her.  
  
"Two burgers with extra fries and an order of onion rings," said Lorelai, "and make it speedy. Rory's hungry."  
  
"Coming right up," Jess said as he turned towards the kitchen. Rory had been trying to read him for something, anything that would have said that he had gotten her message, but there was nothing. Maybe that was just Jess being Jess. She would have to wait until nine to find out.  
  
Lorelai and Rory hung around the diner long after they had finished their meals along with three cups of coffee and a piece of pie each. Lorelai had conned Luke into letting her and Rory play bagel hockey on the counter while he tried to clean up. Kirk was the only customer left at 8:30, but he had finished his meal a while before, and Luke finally kicked him out. Kirk stomped away, mumbling about there being nowhere for a man to enjoy his sandwich. Jess had disappeared at around 8:00, and it was Cesar's night off, so it was just the two girls and Luke in the diner.  
  
At 9:00, Lorelai was showing no signs of leaving any time soon. "I think I'm going to head back," said Rory, gathering her sweatshirt from her chair.  
  
"It's because I'm beating you at bagel hockey! Come back and fight, you lilly-livered scalawag!"  
  
"I'll see you later, Mom," Rory said as she left the diner. As the door closed behind her, she heard her mother say, "Lukie, come play bagel hockey with me!"  
  
"Lorelai, that is idiotic!"  
  
"You're just scared I'm gonna beat you!"  
  
Rory shook her head and smiled at her mother and Luke's conversation, and then headed in the direction of the bridge. When she got there, she saw the silhouette of Jess, and she wasn't sure if that made her more or less nervous.  
  
"Hey," he said, as she approached.  
  
"Hey. You came." She stood next to him, and they both looked out at the water.  
  
"You called, I came."  
  
They just stood together for about a minute, perhaps the most excruciating minute of Rory's life. Then she decided to break the silence.  
  
"You're probably wondering why I called."  
  
Jess just shrugged at this comment. Rory turned to face him.  
  
"Um, well, you see. . ." Rory started to fidget with her hands. Jess reached out for them. He grasped each one of her hands in one of his and held them still. He held them loosely in his fingers and moved his thumbs in small circles over the backs of her hands. Neither of them looked the other in the face, they just both watched their hands.  
  
"It's kind of about the other day."  
  
"Yes?" Jess said, patiently.  
  
"Well, it seems to me that, well, what happened is becoming a sort of habit of ours. And well, I would like it to be a continued habit. . ."  
  
Rory still concentrated on their hands, but Jess was looking at her face.  
  
"Mmm hmm. . . " Jess said, encouraging her to continue.  
  
"Umm, well, you're single, and I'm single, and it kind of makes sense that if we want to make a habit of. . ." Rory was growing more and more flustered, "Well, maybe we shouldn't be single anymore?" Rory finally looked up at his face, and stared hopefully into his eyes.  
  
Jess smiled as he looked at her. "Why Rory Gilmore, did you just ask me out?"  
  
Rory pulled her hands from Jess' and threw her arms around his neck, coming in for a kiss. She closed her eyes and tangled her fingers in his hair. Jess' hands rested gently at her waist, and then he moved them to the small of her back and pulled her closer to him, their bodies pressed close together. He parted her soft lips with his tongue and began to kiss her more passionately. They started to pull back into a series of smaller kisses until Jess was just pecking her softly. Rory placed her forhead against his, the tips of their noses touching and opened her eyes. She found herself looking into the two dark pools that were staring at her. She smiled.  
  
"So. . . is that a yes?" 


	9. All She Could Think About

Sorry guys! I've been INSANELY busy, but here's an extra long chapter. I promise, I'll never wait this long again!  
  
Everything that you recognize from Gilmore Girls the show belongs to Amy S- P and the WB. Everything else is mine.  
  
-----  
  
Rory's alarm clock went off.  
  
'Ick,' she thought to herself, 'school'. Even as she forced herself out of bed at this ungodly hour, she couldn't help smiling. She and Jess were going out. She didn't have to be worried about telling him how she felt anymore, because she had, and everything was good.  
  
Rory got up and dressed in her Chilton uniform. She put her hair in a navy stretchy headband and grabbed her bookbag. She walked into the kitchen.  
  
"Mom?" she called, reaching for a package of Pop-Tarts.  
  
"Good morning sweetie!" Lorelai said, as she walked down the stairs and into the kitchen.  
  
"Ooh! Pop-Tarts! I want one!" Lorelai stuck out her hand and her bottom lip simultaneously.  
  
"Nuh-uh. I'm hungry."  
  
"Evil… Pop-Tart hoarder!" Lorelai walked over to the cupboard to get another package of Pop-Tarts. "No! It can't be!"  
  
"What?"  
  
"We're out of Pop-Tarts!"  
  
Rory heaved a big sigh and handed one of her Pop-Tarts to her mother. "Here. I'll pick some more up at Doose's. . . " Rory trailed off.  
  
"No, I'll get some more at Doose's. It's OK. I'll head over there as soon as I get off work."  
  
"OK, thanks. Hey, you want to stop off at Luke's before I have to go to school? This one single, solitary Pop-Tart isn't going to hold me over for the whole day. It's going to be lonely in my tummy. It needs some company."  
  
"Well, we can't very well have a lonely Pop-Tart. It might start singing lonely songs in math class. And that would disturb the young folk of Chilton. To Luke's?" Lorelai offered her arm to Rory.  
  
"To Luke's."  
  
"We're off to see the diner-man. . . the wonderful diner-man Luke!" they sang, as they skipped out the door and down the street.  
  
They had stopped skipping by the time they got to Luke's. "Table or counter?" Lorelai asked, and then noticed that Jess was behind the counter, brewing coffee. She gave a half smirk to Rory, and then walked over to the counter and sat down without even waiting for her daughter to answer her.  
  
"Hey," Rory said, looking straight at the counter.  
  
"Hey," Jess said, looking straight at Rory.  
  
"Hello. Mr. Hair Gel. I need some food over here."  
  
Jess snapped his head away from looking at Rory, and instead looked at her mother. "What can I get you?"  
  
"I'll have some. . . Belgian waffles with powdered sugar and maple syrup, a side of bacon, and. . . a chocolate chip muffin. Rory?"  
  
"Huh?"  
  
"What would you like for breakfast?"  
  
"Oh, I'll have. . . scrambled eggs, extra toast, sausage, and. . . hmm. . . a glazed doughnut."  
  
"Hungry?" Jess asked.  
  
"Just a little," Rory replied, embarrassed.  
  
"And don't forget the coffee!" Lorelai called, as Jess went to tell Caesar the order. Lorelai and Rory talked for a few minutes before they saw Luke walk down the stairs from the apartment.  
  
"Morning sleeping beauty. Have a long night partying?" Lorelai teased.  
  
"What? No. . . I've been up since 5:30. . . I just spilled some ketchup on my shirt, so I had to go change it and-"  
  
"I think that was a joke, Luke," Rory said, cutting him off.  
  
"Oh, yeah. . . have you ordered?"  
  
"Yes," Lorelai responded, "but we haven't gotten our food yet. Not even our coffee! Luke, I don't think you understand how dire our need for coffee is. Why, if we don't receive our coffee-"  
  
"Lorelai, I poured you coffee when you said 'coffee'. You ranted for no reason."  
  
"One second Lukie-boy. . .ooh. . . Lukie-boy. . . I like that. . . I need to finish my rant."  
  
"You know, being the coffee provider also gives me license to take the coffee away."  
  
"Bless your soul Lukie-boy." Lorelai picked up her mug to take a sip. Luke grabbed the edge of the mug and kept it suspended between the counter and Lorelai's lips. "Luke." She corrected herself, smiling at him. He nodded at her and then allowed her to drink.  
  
@@@@@  
  
Rory was waiting all day in school to meet Jess. Even though she had barely said a word to him that morning, she could still barely wait to see him that afternoon. In science, when Paris was her lab partner, Rory got yelled at for 15 consecutive minutes because she wasn't listening when Paris gave her the information to copy down into her lab notebook. She got called on at least three times and wasn't able to answer.  
  
When school finally got out, she ran to board the bus back to Stars Hollow. On the way back, she had time to think. Wasn't telling Jess how she felt supposed to make it EASIER to pay attention in class? Wasn't this supposed to make it better? Oh well. She decided that it was because it was a new relationship. She was always excited to be with him. And that was a good thing.  
  
When she got to her stop, she quickly ran off the bus and went to Luke's.  
  
"Hey Rory, how was school?" Luke asked, as she walked in the door to the diner. "Oh, it was good. Learned some stuff. That's always helpful."  
  
"That's good. So, what'll it be? Cheeseburger?"  
  
"Umm. . . maybe a little later? I, uh, promised Jess I'd go over his math homework with him today. He, uh, has a quiz tomorrow."  
  
"Oh really? He asked you to help him?" Luke asked, trying to hide how proud he felt.  
  
"Uh, yeah, really wants to commit himself to his schoolwork, you know."  
  
"Well, that's just great. He's upstairs."  
  
"Thanks." Rory ran up the stairs. She felt bad about lying to Luke. She would have to make sure she told Jess what the cover story was, in case he was confronted. And maybe she would help him with his homework some time. Luke had really seemed happy that Jess was taking initiative.  
  
Rory opened the door to the apartment. Jess was lying on his bed, listening to music and reading a book. She couldn't see what the title was. She stood in the doorway looking at him for about half a minute before he noticed, with a start, that she was standing there.  
  
"Hey," he said, jumping up from the bed, dropping the headphones and book where he had been. "How long have you been standing there?"  
  
"Not long," she replied, dropping her backpack from her shoulders and kicking it to the side.  
  
He walked over to where Rory was standing in front of the opened apartment door. He stood right up against her and reached behind her to close the door. Once the door was closed, Rory was trapped between Jess and the door. Jess' hand was still behind her from when he had closed the door, his hand resting on the small of her back.  
  
"Hey," he whispered.  
  
"Hey," she said back.  
  
Jess leaned in close and kissed her softly. Rory breathed in deeply and smelled his smell. A mix of hair gel, coffee, and aftershave. Jess slipped his other hand behind her back as well and pulled her hips in so that they met his. He slipped his tongue into her mouth, and they experimented with kissing each other. Jess moved one hand up to Rory's hair and began to play with the parts close to her ear. He moved his hand down her hair and onto the very tips, flipping it back and forth between his fingers.  
  
Rory, who had previously been resting both her hands on his hips, cautiously moved one hand up to his upper back. She pulled him closer to her, and she heard him take a large breath. She moved her other hand up to his back as well, and began to explore the muscled area with her soft fingertips.  
  
Jess moved his hand from her hair back to her shoulder and softly caressed her upper back. He then brought his hand back to her face and brushed his thumb back and forth across her cheek. He pushed her head away from his gently. She still had her mouth slightly opened and her eyes closed. Slowly, she fluttered her eyelids opened and looked at him.  
  
Jess smiled and then said, "Let's talk."  
  
"Talk? OK. Sure, I think we could do that. Talk away."  
  
Jess took her hand and led her over to his bed.  
  
"Uh, Jess?"  
  
"Yeah?" He looked at where they were going and then looked flustered.  
  
"No! I mean, no, I really just want to talk. The bed was just. . . there. It seemed convenient. I mean. . . if you feel uncomfortable. . ."  
  
"No, talking is good. And a bed is as good a place as any to talk, I guess. . ."  
  
"Ok. . ." Jess replied uncertainly. He sat down on the bed and dangled his legs over the side. Rory sat down across from him and then held onto her knees with her back to the wall.  
  
"I just wanted to talk about us. Um. . . as far as I know, I'm your second boyfriend, right?"  
  
"Yeah. Second. Because Dean was the first, so logically, because you came after Dean, that would make you second."  
  
"I just want to make sure that you know that you should tell me stuff. I mean, if something makes you uncomfortable. . . I don't think you and Dean. . . "  
  
"Went very far?" Rory tried to help. "No, we didn't."  
  
"So, if there's anything I do that makes you uncomfortable. . . "  
  
"I'll let you know. But just so you know. . . uncomfortable might end up being. . . okay." 


	10. Expectations

Everything that you recognize from Gilmore Girls the show belongs to Amy S- P and the WB. Everything else is mine. Enjoy!  
  
-----  
  
"All right. So. . . try a red-ox reaction problem. Here. . . number 36." Rory looked up at Jess. He was staring straight at her, but obviously not paying attention to what she was trying to explain.  
  
"Jess!" she said, exasperated, "Please, just try to concentrate."  
  
"I'm concentrating," he answered, not breaking his stare.  
  
"Concentrate on chemistry! Come on. You have a D in chemistry. I know that it's no fun, but you promised me that you would get at least a C+ in all of your classes. All though how I got roped into that, I'll never know. You could be a straight A student if you put your mind to it."  
  
"This is so boring!"  
  
"Look. . . how about you do. . . three more red-ox problems, and then we'll take a break."  
  
"How about we take a break, and then I do five more red-ox problems."  
  
"Jess! I'm not bargaining with you here."  
  
"Just three? And then we can take a break?"  
  
"Yeah. Just three."  
  
He sighed. "Number 36?"  
  
Rory smiled and nodded. "36."  
  
@@@@@  
  
Rory trudged up the steps onto her bus home from Chilton. She had been working extremely hard lately, and she just wanted to get home and go to sleep. Suddenly, she remembered that her admissions envelopes should be coming soon, and a little jolt of excitement took over her. She pulled out "The Happy Room" and began to read.  
  
It wasn't long before the bus arrived at her stop, and she exited the bus. Luke's or home? she thought to herself. She decided on Luke's. She could use a cup of coffee. She paged her mom to let her know where she was, and walked over to the diner that had been her second home for as long as she could remember.  
  
Because she was alone, she walked directly to the counter and chose a spot. She dropped her backpack next to her. Out of nowhere, Jess appeared with a green mug and the pitcher of coffee. With a little slight of hand, he twirled the mug around before setting it down, filling it to the brim, and giving Rory a slight smile. He slid a stapled packet of papers across the table to her. She picked them up and looked a the top.  
  
"93% on red-ox! Jess!" She stood up and leaned across the counter to give him a kiss. "Great job! Oh my god, this is so good! Congratulations."  
  
"Well thanks to you, Miss Smarty-Pants, looks like I might graduate high school after all."  
  
"Thanks to me? This is thanks to yourself! You got this 93! Oh Jess, I'm so happy for you."  
  
"Thanks." He set the coffee pitcher down on the counter. "So. . . hear from any colleges yet?"  
  
"Nope, not yet. And I'm freaking out! I'm so nervous about the letters. And once I get them, I don't know where I'm going to choose! I just hope I get into one school and then I won't have to make any decisions."  
  
"Well, unfortunately for you, that ain't gonna happen. You're gonna get in everywhere and have to make a choice."  
  
"Stop it. You're making me blush."  
  
"Wanna take off?"  
  
"Don't you have to work?"  
  
"Nah. Caesar's here, and Luke should be back in a half hour or so. And there's no one here."  
  
"I resent that!" came Kirk's voice, who was sitting alone at a corner table, nursing an iced tea and eating a bacon sandwich.  
  
"As I was saying, there's no one here. . ."  
  
"OK. Sure. Where do you wanna go?"  
  
"No where in particular. . ."  
  
"OK."  
  
They walked out of the diner and started walking through the town. It had become a familiar sight in the town: Rory's hand in Jess' back pocket, and Jess' arm wrapped around her waist, walking like that together everywhere. Rory and Jess walked over to the bridge and sat down, side by side.  
  
"Which ones do you have to choose from?" Jess asked.  
  
"What?"  
  
"Which colleges? Where did you end up applying?"  
  
"Oh. Um. . . Harvard, Princeton, Yale, Vassar, and BU. And then I had some safeties, but I'm hoping it won't resort to that."  
  
"It won't."  
  
"How do you know?"  
  
"I just do." Jess smiled and leaned in to plant a kiss on Rory's lips.  
  
"Ok. Good enough answer for me."  
  
"I thought so."  
  
"Did you apply anywhere?" Rory asked.  
  
"Community College. I'm going to go to community college if I graduate-"  
  
"When you graduate."  
  
"When I graduate, and then probably work really hard and try to transfer to State University."  
  
"That's cool. I'm glad that you decided to go to college Jess."  
  
"Hmm."  
  
"No, I really am. I'm really happy. I was worried about you. You have so much potential-"  
  
"Oh GOD not this speech."  
  
Rory was silent and looked hurt.  
  
"Sorry. It's just-"  
  
"No. No, it's fine. I'll stop talking about college."  
  
"I like that you care so much about me."  
  
"Who will if I don't?"  
  
"My point exactly." Jess leaned in to kiss Rory again. She moved her legs from where they were lying straight ahead next to Jess' to on top of his, so that she could face him. He wrapped his arms around her waist and pulled her close. He played with the hem of her shirt, flipping it up and down and gently caressing the skin of her lower back. Then he slipped one hand completely up the back of her shirt. Rory stiffened, but didn't stop him. He moved his hand further up her back until he came to her bra clasp. Rory wasn't thinking about the kissing anymore. All she could think of was that hand. She felt his fingers moving towards the clasp. She moved one hand from Jess' back and placed it on his arm, trying to show him that she wanted him to move it. He didn't. She pulled back from the kiss and pushed his arm away.  
  
"Jess. . ."  
  
"Forget about it." He turned away from her and looked off into the distance.  
  
"It's just. . . this is so new. I. . . I've never done. . . I told you that I didn't go very far with Dean. . . this just isn't the right time for me."  
  
"Whatever." Jess wasn't going to talk to her anymore. She stood. "I'll talk to you later?"  
  
"Yeah, I'll call you," he responded, but he didn't look her way."  
  
"OK."  
  
She turned away from him and walked away from the bridge. She tried to hold back the tears until she got back to her house. As soon as she got there, she ran into her room, slammed the door, and flopped down on her bed.  
  
Why was she such a baby? She was a senior in high school, and she wouldn't even let her boyfriend get to second base. This wasn't a big deal. Jess, she was sure, had gotten farther than that even, with girls that he barely knew. She was disappointing him. He was the kind of guy who took things like this lightly, expected them, and she kept turning him away.  
  
Rory didn't know what to do. Part of her wanted to explore all of these things with Jess. Why was she so scared?  
  
Because she didn't want to disappoint him, she confessed to herself. Because she knew how experienced he was, and she didn't want him to know how much experience she lacked. What if she was no good for him? That scared her so much. She really didn't want to disappoint him.  
  
She had to tell him what she was feeling. He was her boyfriend, and he deserved to know what she was thinking and feeling. Besides, it concerned him. She would talk to him soon. Not over the phone. Face to face. Maybe tomorrow. She knew he would understand. At least, she hoped he would understand. 


	11. Mail Call

Everything that you recognize from Gilmore Girls the show belongs to Amy S- P and the WB. Everything else is mine. Enjoy!  
  
Thank you to iminlovewithaboynamedJESS (me too, by the way), for helping me out with the coding problems. Hopefully everything will work now. Also thank you to smile. I really love knowing that you are reading my work that carefully. It makes me feel all warm and fuzzy inside. I just want to say, also, thank you to everyone who has been reviewing, and also, to anyone who has been reading, even if you haven't been reviewing. It makes me happy to know that people are enjoying my work. So without further ado, here you go! The eleventh chapter.  
  
-----  
  
Rory woke up, glanced at her watch, and then proceeded to bury her head in her pillow. It was inhumane to wake up this early. Oh well, at least it was Friday. The last day of the week.  
  
Friday was a mix of sweet and sour, especially this Friday. It was the end of the week, but she had Friday night dinners. This Friday, she had also decided that she would tell Jess how she felt.  
  
She was actually getting really nervous about that. Lately, their relationship had been really good. She had been getting Jess to open up, to share his feelings. She had even gotten him to go so far as to put aside his ego and let her help him study. That had been a real breakthrough, both in her relationship with him and in his school life. Now, with this. . .  
  
All she knew was, this was not good. Maybe she shouldn't have pushed him away? No, that was ridiculous. She shouldn't have to do things that she wasn't ready for for Jess, and she thought that he knew that. Whatever it was that happened that night, this was going to be a very uncomfortable situation.  
  
-----  
  
After school, Rory walked to the Inn instead of to the Diner, where she had been heading from her bus stop every day since she and Jess had been going out. It felt odd, avoiding him, but she didn't want to talk to him in front of all of the people who were sure to be in the diner. She wanted to talk to him later. Alone.  
  
Before she went in, Rory called the apartment. As usual, no one picked up. She left a message. "Hey. It's me. Meet me tonight, at 9. You know where. OK. Bye."  
  
She slipped her cell phone in her pocket and walked into the inn.  
  
"Hey baby-cakes!"  
  
"Hey Mom."  
  
"This is so nice!" Lorelai said, coming over to give Rory a hug, "You haven't been by lately."  
  
"Sorry."  
  
"No! No problem. I'm just saying, it's a nice surprise. Look, I'm a little busy right now, but why don't you go hang with Sookie for a little while, and then I'll come play with you!"  
  
"OK, cool." Rory walked into the kitchen to say hello to Sookie. Jackson was also there, making a delivery. For once, they weren't arguing about it. Rory found a stool to sit on.  
  
"Hey sweetie! Hungry?" Sookie said in greeting.  
  
"Yes! What have you got for me?"  
  
"I'm doing chocolate soufflés today. Give me ten minutes and the next few will be up."  
  
"Wow! Soufflé!" Rory waited as patiently as possible for her soufflé, and then ate it as she talked to Sookie.  
  
"Done!" Lorelai called, breezing into the kitchen. "Ready to go home sweetie?"  
  
"Yeah, sure. Thanks so much Sookie! That was so good."  
  
"Anytime sweetie!"  
  
"Bye!"  
  
"Thanks for what?" Lorelai asked as they left the inn."  
  
"Oh, nothing. Just a soufflé."  
  
"Sookie made you a soufflé?"  
  
"I'm special."  
  
"I'm jealous."  
  
"Luke's?"  
  
"I. . . uh. . . don't think we have time. Before dinner at the grandparents."  
  
"Oh jeez, you're right!" Lorelai said, looking at her watch.  
  
"Let's just go home, we can shower, get changed, maybe be on time for once. . ."  
  
"Hey! I resent that," Lorelai said, pouting.  
  
"Well maybe your resentment will be an incentive to be on time."  
  
They walked back to the house, and as they walked up the front path, Lorelai got the mail. "Water bill, electric bill, Vassar!"  
  
"What?"  
  
"Vassar! It's a biggie! A big one! A big one!"  
  
"I got into Vassar!"  
  
"You got into Vassar! And Yale."  
  
"What?" Rory stopped jumping up and down and took the envelope. "Yale?"  
  
Lorelai passed her a third envelope. "Harvard."  
  
"Harvard." Rory stood, staring at the envelopes she held in her hand, "Wow."  
  
"We don't have to say anything to the grandparents tonight. We can wait, until you make up your mind."  
  
"OK."  
  
-----  
  
"You ring it," Lorelai said.  
  
"OK." Rory rang the bell.  
  
"Lorelai! Rory! Come in! Can I get you something to drink?"  
  
"Sure. I'll have whatever's opened."  
  
"Can I have a Coke please?"  
  
"Of course. Richard! Lorelai will have some of the Chardonnay, and Rory would like a Coke."  
  
"Just a moment Emily."  
  
They took their drinks and soon after sat down to dinner.  
  
"So, have you heard from any universities yet?" Richard asked, as they were eating their salad.  
  
"No, but we should be hearing any day now!" Lorelai answered quickly.  
  
"Yes, soon."  
  
"Have any of your school friends heard yet?" Emily asked.  
  
"Um. . . well, Paris heard from Georgetown and Vassar. She got into both. But she's waiting to hear from Harvard. That's where she really wants to go. Seven generations of her family went there."  
  
"Well, I can understand that," Richard said, "wanting to keep it in the family. You applied to Vassar and Georgetown as well, didn't you?"  
  
"Just Vassar. But Paris lives in Hartford, so I guess it got to her sooner. I should be hearing soon."  
  
"Yes. Yes, of course."  
  
-----  
  
After dinner was over, Lorelai and Rory got back in the car to drive home.  
  
"Wow," Lorelai said, "that was close."  
  
"Yeah. I'm glad I didn't tell them. He just would have kept pushing for Yale, Yale, Yale."  
  
"Honey, I just want you to know. I'm not going to push for anything, OK? Whatever you decide, I'll be happy for you."  
  
"Even if it's not Harvard?"  
  
"Even if it's not Harvard."  
  
"OK."  
  
When they got back to the house, Rory went into her room to open the envelopes that she had received. First Harvard. It had always been Harvard. Anyone who looked at her room would think that she already attended the school. She pulled the letter out of the envelope, the one that began "Congratulations", and pinned it on her wall, next to a pennant from the school.  
  
Next was Vassar. She didn't really think that she would go to Vassar. Her guidance counselor had recommended that she apply. She pulled the letter out of that envelope as well and pinned it on her wall, next to the one from Harvard.  
  
Yale. Yale had never been an option. It had always been Harvard. She supposed that she had always known that her grandfather had gone to Yale, but until he started pushing for Yale, it hadn't even been an option. She had only really applied to make him happy. But now. . . she didn't really know. She tentatively pulled that letter out of the envelope and pinned it on her wall. She stared at the three letters on the wall. Her first three. She supposed more may come. She had applied to eight schools, and she hadn't even heard from her safeties yet, but she had a feeling that those other five schools weren't even in the running. It was going to end up being a contest between Harvard and Yale. It was just a matter of which.  
  
Jess! She had completely forgotten. She checked her watch. It was a quarter to nine. She still had time. She changed out of the skirt and shirt that she had worn to her grandparents' house and put on a pair of jeans and a powder blue t-shirt. She took her hair down from the ponytail that she had been wearing it in and slipped on her sneakers.  
  
"Mom!" she called, "I'm going out for a bit. I've got my phone!"  
  
"All right sweets! See you later!"  
  
She walked briskly to the bridge. She had completely forgotten about Jess since her college acceptance letters had arrived. Now the churning feeling in her stomach returned. What if he broke up with her? What if he thought she was a baby because she wouldn't go further with him? She didn't know what to do. All she knew was that she had to do something, so she walked over to the bridge. She paused a few feet away.  
  
Jess was standing, hands in his pockets, staring off into space. She watched his figure for about a minute before she slowly walked up to him. He turned as she started coming towards him.  
  
"Hi," she said. He nodded in greeting.  
  
"Um. Look. About the other night. . ." she almost expected him to cut her off, but he was just standing there, watching her, attentively.  
  
"I know that I said, before, that I wouldn't mind, that I wanted to. . . go a little further with you. But I meant some day. I know that I'm behind the rest of the world, I know it's weird, but I really haven't done that much, and I guess. . . I guess I'm scared."  
  
She paused, waiting for him to say something. He seemed to be waiting to see if she was done. Then he spoke. "It's not that weird. And I understand."  
  
She wasn't sure what to do. He still seemed a little. . . cold towards her. "Is something wrong?" she asked. "Are you having trouble in school? Or-"  
  
"My mom is remarrying."  
  
"Oh." She didn't know what else to say.  
  
"It's no big deal. It's just a change is all. I'm not trying to make excuses. This and what happened that night are in no way connected. You just asked what was wrong." Jess paused.  
  
"I'm not mad. Well, not at you. I'm a little mad at myself, for pushing you where you didn't want to go, and I guess. . ." he sighed, "I guess I'm a little mad at my mom. I don't even know the guy. His name is Pete. And I talked to him on the phone for a minute. He made it clear that he doesn't want to be involved whatsoever in my life. I don't really care about him either, it's just. . ."  
  
Rory slowly lifted her arms and placed them around his waist, inside his jacket. She pulled him close to her and rested her head on his chest. She lifted one hand and ran it through his hair, but she didn't lift her head. "I care about you," she said.  
  
"OK," he said, and he wrapped his arms around her too. They held each other like that quietly for a few minutes, and then Rory lifted her head and kissed him softly on the lips.  
  
"I'll let you know."  
  
"OK." He stood still where he was as she walked away. 


	12. Decisions, Decisions, Decisions

It had been three days since Rory had received her acceptance letters, and she was already regretting not telling her grandparents and Jess. Because she hadn't told Jess yet, she couldn't tell Luke, and she also couldn't tell anyone else in Stars Hollow, because of how fast gossip traveled.  
  
She wanted to wait until she had decided for sure what school she was going to before she told her grandparents. This was really hard on her. She had NO clue what to do. In the past days, she had received the letters from all of the other schools she had applied to. She hadn't gotten into Princeton, which was fine by her, and she had been waitlisted at Stanford, but she hadn't really wanted to go to the west coast anyways. It had all come down to Harvard and Yale, which was why, at 7 in the morning on a Sunday, she was lying face down on her bed with a Yale pamphlet in one hand, and one from Harvard in the other. She put them both down and picked up, instead, the pro and con lists she had been making for the schools. After carefully examining both of them, she replaced them and picked up the pamphlets again.  
  
She sighed and put them back on her bed and slowly got up. She creeped up the stairs, still in her pajamas, and got in bed with Lorelai.  
  
"Mom?"  
  
"Mmph. Early. Coffee."  
  
"Mom, we'll go to Luke's. Just listen to me a sec."  
  
"Mmph. What."  
  
"I'm going to Yale."  
  
Lorelai opened her eyes and turned over to face her daughter. "What?"  
  
"Yale," Rory said, this time more insistant. "I've made up my mind, and I'm going to Yale."  
  
"Wow. Yale."  
  
"I know you wanted Harvard, but-"  
  
"No! No. Yale is good. Yale is very good. Who am I kidding? Yale is great! You can come home on the weekends, and I can visit you whenever I want. . . Wow. Yale." Lorelai threw back the covers. "Let's tell the world!"  
  
"I'm sure the world can wait until a decent hour to find out," Rory said, suddenly realizing how early it was, and snuggling under the covers in her mother's bed.  
  
"Are you kidding? I'm up! I'm pumped! Let's go and tell everyone!"  
  
"OK. . . let me get some clothes on. . ." Rory walked downstairs and pulled on some jeans and a t-shirt and went back up to her mother's room.  
  
Lorelai had her head in the closet and was mumbling to herself. "I know I kept it. . . PLEASE say I kept it. . . AHA!" She came out of the closet with a Yale sweatshirt in her hand.  
  
"I knew I still had it!" She held it up to herself to show to Rory. "Dad gave it to me after some reunion or something. Here!" She handed it to Rory. "You wear it."  
  
"Mom?" Rory said.  
  
"Yes?"  
  
"It smells funky." Rory handed the sweatshirt to her mother. Lorelai sniffed it, and then held it away. "Gross! Mothbally and. . . something else. I'll wash it and you can wear it until you get one of your own."  
  
"All right," Rory answered.  
  
Lorelai went over to Rory and hooked her arm with her own. "Let's go! Who should we tell first?"  
  
"Luke. I need some coffee," Rory answered.  
  
"All righty then! Come on!"  
  
The pair walked to Luke's together. The town was much emptier than it was usually, probably because it was so early. They didn't run into anyone they knew, or anyone worth talking to. They reached Luke's in record time.  
  
"Thank GOD Luke opens at such an ungodly hour!" Lorelai said, as she opened the door to the diner. Luke was the only person in the building, and he was behind the counter, wiping the surface down with a rag. When he saw the girls, he dropped his rag and ran over to them.  
  
"What's wrong? What happened? Was there a fire?"  
  
"No silly. We have news!" Lorelai answered, walking past him with Rory in tow. Luke stood in stupor for a moment, before following them to the counter, where they had both found seats.  
  
"Well?" Luke said, after the girls had sat down, "What's the news?"  
  
"Are you kidding?" Lorelai asked, "There is no way you are learning this news until we both have some coffee in our systems."  
  
Luke heaved an overdramatic sigh as he grabbed two mugs and placed them in front of the girls. He reached behind him and grabbed the coffee pot and poured them each a cup of coffee. Rory and Lorelai each took a long sip from their mug while Luke stood impatiently behind the counter.  
  
"Well," Lorelai began, "We received some interesting mail. This mail has actually been arriving for a few days now."  
  
"College acceptances," Rory clarified.  
  
"So, there were quite a few actually, and after some consideration. . . "  
  
"I'm going to Yale."  
  
"Wow!" Luke said, "That's great! Yale is so close! And Ivy League. Wow Rory, that's just. . ." He came around the counter and gave her a big hug. "Wow. Pancakes on the house! Tell you what, I'll make them myself."  
  
Luke went back to the kitchen and began preparing pancakes.  
  
"I'm gonna go see if Jess is up," Rory said, standing up from her seat at the counter and making her way over to the staircase.  
  
"OK, babycakes, but I can't promise that your pancakes will be completely in tact when you get back!"  
"Lay off my pancakes!" Rory called, walking up the stairs.  
  
She approached the apartment door and knocked gently. "Jess?" There was no answer. She eased the door opened and entered the room. She looked into Jess' room and saw that he was still asleep. She walked over to his bed. He had scrunched himself into one corner of the bed. He was lying on his side, and she could see his face. It was relaxed. His eyes were gently closed, and his mouth was curved into a slight smile.  
  
Rory walked over to the bed and sat down so that she was looking at his back. "Jess?" she said, quietly, reaching out to stroke his back. She felt him tense into a slight stretch, and then his head slowly moved to look at her. "Rory?" he said in a croaky, morning voice.  
  
"Hey."  
  
Jess turned around and then slowly sat up. He scooted back to put his back up against the headboard of his bed. "What are you doing up here?" He glanced at his watch. "It's early," he said, rubbing his eyes with the heels of his hands.  
  
"We got up early and decided to come get coffee."  
  
"Hmmph," Jess grunted. Rory didn't blame him. It was early.  
  
"Do you want to talk?" she asked.  
  
"About?"  
  
"Anything. Us. School. Your mom?"  
  
"Well, I think we're OK now, school is still good, I'm still passing everything, and my mom is still alive. Why, did you have something specific you wanted to talk about?" He asked, looking straight at her, and waiting for her to reply.  
  
"No. . ." she answered, stalling, "Not really. . ."  
  
"Mmm hmm. I believe you," he answered, sarcastically. He stood up and walked over to his closet. She remained on his bed. He walked into the bathroom but left the door opened. She stood up and walked into the room adjacent to the bathroom and watched as he splashed his face with water. He walked over to the closet and grabbed what he touched: a pair of jeans and a red t-shirt. He pulled off the white shirt he had been sleeping in and pulled on the red one. He pulled the jeans on over his boxers.  
  
He looked back at Rory. She was fidgeting. He knew that she had something to say, but he was just going to wait for her to say it. He knew that she would tell him eventually, so he was just going to wait it out. He went back into the bathroom and took out his toothbrush and some toothpaste and began brushing his teeth.  
  
Rory watched as he finished brushing his teeth, and she suddenly felt extremely uncomfortable. She felt as if he didn't know that he was here. Like she was just watching his private life without him knowing.  
  
"I'm going to Yale," she blurted, staring at the floorboards.  
  
He looked right at her and slowly walked over to her. He stood directly in front of her and stared at her face.  
  
"Yale," she repeated.  
  
"Why Yale?"  
  
"What?"  
  
"Well, I thought it was always going to be Harvard."  
  
"I got in there too. I just. . . Yale is closer, you know? And I could come home every weekend. . . and you could come and visit me. . ." she looked at him hopefully.  
  
He walked over to his desk and pulled out some letters. She saw the headers of the letters: Simmons College, Albertus Magnus College, and then some others.  
  
He plucked the one from Albertus Magnus out of the pile and dropped the others in the wastebasket.  
  
"Then I guess it'll be Albertus Magnus."  
  
"What?"  
  
"I applied to college in New Haven, Boston, New York, Princeton, basically all the places where there are Ivies. You chose Yale, I choose Albertus Magnus."  
  
"It's in New Haven?"  
  
Jess just smiled. Rory clasped her hands in his and leaned in to kiss him. It was a sweet kiss. They were both smiling when they pulled back out of the kiss. "I think you have some breakfast waiting for you," Jess said, smiling. They kissed once more and walked down into the diner together. 


	13. Love, Love, Love

Hey all! Thanks for the great reviews. Yes, those actually are colleges: I did some research. Here's some more for you all! Enjoy!  
  
The weeks since her decision had all been a blur to Rory. She was working harder than she had ever worked before in Chilton. She had promised herself that she wouldn't go through the senior slump, no matter how much Jess and Lorelai pressed that she could take a break: she was going to Yale. All Rory could think about was what if she slacked off, and Yale decided that she wasn't worthy of admission anymore. She had also applied for financial aid and received more than enough. She was glad to have it, but it was yet another thing that could be taken away from her if she slacked off.  
  
When she studied, Jess tended to sit in the same room, just watching her. He still did his homework and had kept his promise to Rory of at least a C+ in every class he took, but she was slaving away at her work.  
  
It was 10:00, and Jess was finishing closing the diner while Luke was fishing for the weekend. Rory was working at the counter, her books spread out all over. Spring term finals were coming up, and she was trying to get in enough study time for each one. She had created stations: her notes and textbooks for each class opened at a different stool. Every thirty minutes, she rotated stations.  
  
Rory had been in the diner since four that afternoon, as soon as she had gotten home from school. She had claimed the counter as soon as she had arrived, and no one had complained except for Kirk, whom Jess had sent to sulk at a corner table. At six, Lorelai had arrived for dinner, but other than that, all Rory had eaten since she had been there was a piece of apple pie, and the constant supply of coffee that Jess had provided. At this point, she couldn't even guess how many cups she had had.  
  
Jess had been wiping down the same spot on the counter for at least five minutes, just watching Rory as she worked furiously at memorizing history facts. Her brow was furrowed, and her eyes locked in the words. Jess put down the rag and walked around the counter to stand behind her. She didn't even notice.  
  
"Don't frown," he said, placing his hand gently over her eyes and furrowed forehead and kissing the top of her head.  
  
"Sorry. I just. . . ugh. I'm freaking out when there is nothing to be freaking out about." Rory placed her pencil in her book and took his hand in hers. She kissed it, and then swiveled around on her stool to face Jess. She looked up at him and kissed him.  
  
"Can you take a break?" he asked.  
  
"What kind of break?" Rory asked, smiling.  
  
Jess smiled back and leaned in for another kiss, this time wrapping his arms around her waist and pulling her up to stand with him. He tangled his hands in her hair, and she reached around to pull at the hem of his shirt. She slipped her hand up to caress the skin of his back. He drew back from her, and taking her hand, walked over to the door of the diner and locked it. He then led her up the stairs to the apartment. They began kissing again as soon as they had gotten inside the apartment door, and Jess led Rory over to the bed and lay her down. She pushed him up off her and said, "Jess. . ."  
  
"When you're ready. Don't worry." He smiled and came back down for another kiss. He reached down to the hem of her shirt and began to pull it over her head. Rory paused for a moment, and then realized that she felt no regret. She allowed him to pull her shirt up, breaking their kissing so that he could pull it over her head and drop it on the floor. She did the same to his shirt almost immediately after, and she dropped it on top of hers on the floor.  
  
They wrapped their arms around each other and scooted up the bed. Rory could feel the cold metal of Jess's belt buckle on her stomach, and his skin on hers. She felt so close to him. He was reaching behind her now to undo her bra. She moved one hand from his bare back to reach behind her to help him. She realized as the clasp was undone what a childish bra it was. Plain white cotton. She wasn't even sure where she had gotten it. . . GAP maybe? The material was left between them though the clasp was undone. After a while, Jess sat up, bringing Rory to sit up with him, their legs intertwined. He pulled back from her and then slid the straps of her bra off her shoulders. He looked straight at her for what seemed like hours, and then said quietly, "You're beautiful." He was looking straight into her eyes. Rory felt like she should have been self-conscious, but she wasn't. Jess leaned back in to kiss her and then laid her back down on the bed, pinning her wrists over her head with one hand. He moved from kissing her mouth to kissing her neck, moving slowly down to her collarbone. She had to admit that Jess was good at what he was doing. She couldn't decide if that annoyed her, because he had had so much practice with other people, or if she was just happy. He moved back to kiss her on the mouth once more before rolling off her to lie on his back next to her. He ran both his hands through his hair, and then sat up to get his shirt on.  
  
"Come on Miss Yalie," he said, tossing her shirt and bra to her, "You've got some studying to do."  
  
@@@@@  
  
Back down in the diner, Rory could barely concentrate. She kept looking at Jess, who was cleaning the diner where it did not need to be cleaned. Finally, she put down her pencil and looked at him. "Why did you stop?"  
  
"What?" he asked.  
  
"Why did you stop? Did you not want to go further? You just stopped. Why?"  
  
"Because I wasn't sure if you wanted to."  
  
"Neither was I," Rory admitted.  
  
"Exactly. I didn't want to force you to do anything that you would regret later. I love you too much."  
  
Rory gaped at him.  
  
"Don't say anything. I mean it. Just think."  
  
Rory nodded and packed up her books to go home. She turned at the door of the diner and blew Jess a kiss. He reached out with his hand and mimed catching it and pocketing the kiss. Rory turned and walked out the door.  
  
@@@@@  
  
Later that night, at around eleven, Rory could not stop thinking about Jess. She was lying on her bed, trying to relive those moments that she and Jess had shared. She just felt so happy, so alive. So this was what all the hype was about. She found herself wondering if this could make her so happy, what would it be like when she finally went all the way with Jess.  
  
Whoa. When? Her subconscious was moving faster than her conscious mind. When. She tested it out in her mind, and then quietly out loud, "When I have sex with Jess."  
  
It sounded. . . right. She stood from her bed and walked out the door. She might get yelled at by Lorelai later for being out late on a school night, but she needed to see Jess. She walked quietly out the front door and contemplated which of the two most likely places she could go. After a few seconds of thought, she decided on the bridge. She walked over and saw Jess sitting, his legs dangling over the side, reading.  
  
She walked over to him and fell to her knees, kissing him. She pulled back and looked into his eyes. Those dark pools of brown, like mirrors, glistening in the moonlight. "I love you," she said, plainly and clearly, "I love you Jess Mariano." She kissed him again and then got up and walked away from the bridge. By the time she had gone a few paces, she had broken into a jog, and then into a run.  
  
She was in love. 


	14. The Bluest Eye

Here's the new update, sorry about the wait!  
  
-----  
  
It was Friday, the day of Rory's last final. She and Lorelai had stopped at Luke's for a cup of coffee and a wish of luck from both Luke and Jess before Lorelai had driven Rory to Chilton.  
  
"It's your last high school final! I want to drive you there," Lorelai had said, struggling to put on a pump as she walked down the stairs.  
  
"You really don't have to. I can take the bus. . ."  
  
"Nonsense!" Lorelai had exclaimed, "I'll drive. But first. . . to Luke's!"  
  
Now Rory was sitting in one of many desks that had been set up in the cafeteria. The tables that had usually occupied the room had been moved to allow for the small desks with little table room.  
  
Rory's last exam was English, and she was fairly sure that she would ace it, considering her love of reading, but she didn't want to count her chickens before they hatched. As she went through the multiple choice questions and moved on to the short answer, she made sure to use all of her good test-taking skills and to check all of her answers twice before handing in her test paper. After everyone had handed in their booklet, the principal came into the room.  
  
"Chilton seniors. I wish to congratulate you all on the completion of your last final exam here at Chilton. I also would like to remind you that the graduation ceremony is this Monday at three o'clock. Congratulations once again."  
  
There was a huge amount of cheering and whooping in the room, as every senior stood and jumped up and down, hugging and high-fiving their neighbors. Rory cheered a little and smiled at her neighbors, and then began to collect her notes and books and put them into her bag. She looked up to see Paris approaching her.  
  
"Gilmore. What did you put for number seven in the multiple choice? I thought that A or B could have been the answer, but I chose A. I really don't think that it was right to have two answers that could have been legitimately correct. I'm considering bringing the matter up with Mr. Humphrey. And the short answer. . . do you really think that the answers have to be 1 or 2 sentences? Because I really felt as if that limited my ability to express my true feelings about Shakespeare's work. . . I know that Harvard will always have a limit on papers, and sometimes it is necessary to consolidate your work, but-"  
  
"Paris, you really need to calm down. I'm sure you did fine. Great even. Harvard is going to love you."  
  
"Yes. Yes, of course. And Yale. . . it was Yale wasn't it? You chose to go to Yale?"  
  
"Yes, I kind of wanted to be closer to home."  
  
"Well, that's fine for you. I hope you've finished your part of the Valedictorian speech?"  
  
"Yes, I have, mostly. Just have to go over some finishing touches this weekend."  
  
"Have you timed it? Because mine is exactly 2 minutes and thirty eight seconds, and I feel as if they should be within a five second margin of one another. . ."  
  
"Paris, I will make sure that my speech is within that time frame. But, I kind of have to go. . . I'll see you Monday?"  
  
"Yes, of course."  
  
"Have a good weekend, Paris."  
  
"You too."  
  
Rory walked out of the room with her bag and walked straight for her bus stop. She didn't have to wait too long before the bus arrived and she could climb aboard. She found a seat near the back and pulled out a copy of Atlas Shrugged and a pencil. She held the pencil between her teeth as she flipped through the thin pages, looking for the spot where she had last left off.  
  
She had read this book many times, and there were coffee stains and juice stains and sticky pages from glazed doughnuts. The book seemed lived-in, like a favorite pair of jeans. She was lost in her book, until, out of the corner of her eye, she began to see the familiar houses and street corners. She marked the paragraph that she was reading with a small dash from her pencil and closed the book, replacing it in her bag. She stood and went over to stand by the stairwell to exit the bus. It pulled up to her stop, and she pressed the yellow tape on the doors to open them. When she looked up, who did she see, but Jess.  
  
She was partly surprised, but so much of her was just plain happy to see him. She bounded off the bus and into his arms, planting a kiss on his smiling mouth. He reached for her bag and took it, lacing his other arm around her waist, holding her close to him as they walked together.  
  
"So, how was your last final?" Jess asked, steering her towards the diner.  
  
"It was good, I think. At least it's over. Graduation on Monday, and then I'm free for three months."  
  
"Lucky private school kids. I don't get out for another two weeks."  
  
"And then you graduate!"  
  
"And then I graduate," Jess echoed, looking down amused at Rory's happy face. He had never been able to make another person so happy before he met Rory. And he had never been able to be made happy by another person until he met Rory. He leaned down and kissed her, and then she rested her cheek on his shoulder. They walked like that until they reached the diner.  
  
They walked over to the counter, where they split from each other, Rory finding a seat at the counter, and Jess walking straight over to the coffee pot and filling up a cup for Rory.  
  
"Bless you," Rory said, drinking from the cup, "Mmm. . . my first cup since this morning."  
  
"You're a little behind today. Only two cups?" Jess joked.  
  
"Hey, be nice. I'm addicted. I can't help it."  
  
"Just a sec, I have something for you. Wait here."  
  
"No objections," Rory called after him, gulping down her coffee.  
  
Jess came back down the stairs in a few minutes, carrying a book. He walked behind the counter and slid it over to her.  
  
"The Bluest Eye," Rory read, and then looked up at Jess.  
  
"I've never read it, but I saw it when I was browsing this bookstore. The title made me think of you."  
  
Rory wanted to say something, but instead she just leaned across the counter and kissed him. She pulled back slightly, and said, her lips moving gently across his, "Thank you." 


	15. The Graduate

"Good morning gorgeous." Rory slowly opened her eyes, and as she woke up realized that there was another person in her bed. It took a huge amount of energy for her to finally turn her head to look at the person lying next to her.  
  
"Hey sweetie. Happy graduation." Lorelai kissed Rory on the forehead.  
  
"Thanks mom."  
  
"So, how's my little valedictorian?"  
  
"Still sleepy. Need coffee. Cannot process coherent thoughts."  
  
"I know how you feel. Get dressed, we're going to Luke's."  
  
Rory rolled out of bed and stumbled to the bathroom to brush her teeth. All Lorelai could see was what she had never been. A high school graduate. A valedictorian. Her daughter.  
  
-----  
  
Rory came out into the kitchen fully dressed and saw her mother standing over the sink.  
  
"Mom? You ready to go?"  
  
"Yeah," Lorelai answered, not turning. She was sniffing.  
  
"Mom? Are you OK?"  
  
"Yeah, I'm fine. Allergies."  
  
"OK. . ." Rory said, secretly knowing the truth. Her mother had never suffered from allergies, but she had been known to be sentimental.  
  
"Let's go sweetie." Lorelai walked over to her daughter, any sign of tears had already vanished from her face. She was smiling proudly.  
  
"It's. . . dark," Rory said, walking out of the house.  
  
"Is not," Lorelai countered.  
  
"Well, maybe not dark in the full sense of the word, but. . ." Rory glanced at her watch, "It's 6:30! It's so early!"  
  
"I was excited. . ." Lorelai mumbled.  
  
"Well, this will be a surprise to Luke at least," Rory said.  
  
"Hmm. . . maybe," Lorelai said under her breath.  
  
"C'mon Mom. Luke would bet everything he has that we wouldn't be in the diner until at least 10:00."  
  
The two Gilmores came up to Luke's diner and pushed open the door. There was no one in there except for Luke himself, scrubbing down the counter. "Hey! Your table. . ." Luke gestured towards a table to his right. There was a pancake breakfast waiting for them. On one plate of pancakes, "Happy Grad Day Rory" was written in syrup.  
  
"Oh Luke! That's so nice! Thank you." Rory sat down in front of her plate. Lorelai took a place across from her and grabbed for the coffee mug, which was already placed in front of her. "Grad day? Hey Luke! There's no coffee in here!" Lorelai lifted her empty mug and pouted at Luke, who was already on his way over from the counter with the coffee pot. He filled Rory's cup first.  
  
"Hey! Why does she get coffee first?"  
  
"Graduates go first," Luke said, wrapping his free arm around Rory's shoulders in a kind of half hug before going around the table to fill Lorelai's mug with coffee.  
  
"Hmph. Don't you mean 'Grads'?"  
  
"There wasn't enough room on the pancakes to write out 'Graduation', OK?"  
  
"Hmm. Maybe you should have given her bigger pancakes."  
  
"No, Luke. These are great," Rory said, taking a big bite. "Thank you so much." They ate in silence for a while, and Luke returned to the counter.  
  
"Hey Luke!" Rory said, suddenly, "How did you know that we would be here so early?"  
  
"Uh, well. . ."  
  
Lorelai, who had been holding her coffee cup up towards Luke and clearing her throat pointedly for the past five minutes, stood and brought her cup up to the counter. "He asked me yesterday to call him ten minutes before we would be here so that he could make you breakfast." Lorelai reached for the coffee pot before Luke had time to react, and filled her cup before replacing the pot in the coffee maker. "Isn't he sweet?" She added, pinching his cheek with her free hand. Luke just rolled his eyes.  
  
Once they had finished their breakfasts, Lorelai and Rory went back to the house. "Hey, don't you have work?" Rory asked.  
  
"Yeah, but I wanted to hang out with you. I'm having Michel cover for me."  
  
They walked quietly for a moment, and the Rory turned to her mother, "OK, what is it?" she asked.  
  
"What?"  
  
"I can tell when you are trying to keep a secret that you really want to tell. What is it?"  
  
"Oh! You're too good."  
  
"Come on! What is it?"  
  
"OK, well, because you got so much financial aid from Yale, I was able to put in my half to get an inn with Sookie!"  
  
"Oh my God! Why didn't you tell me?"  
  
"Well, I wasn't sure about it until yesterday, but I didn't want to steal your thunder. Anyways, the deal went through, and we're going to start work on it this summer!"  
  
"Wow! That's awesome! Oh my God Mom, I'm so happy for you." Rory threw her arms around her mother excitedly. They had reached the house by then, and they opened the door and went inside, excitedly discussing ideas for names of the new inn.  
  
@@@@@  
  
At two o'clock, Lorelai and Rory left for Chilton in the Jeep. When they arrived, Rory went straight back into a classroom that had been reserved for the robes, and Lorelai went to snag some seats.  
  
"Let's see. . ." she said, talking to herself, "Me, Diner-Man, Mini Diner-Man, Sookie, Jackson. . . I think that's it." Her pager went off, and she read the message. It was from Rory. "Get seats for the g-parents."  
  
"Damn her," Lorelai muttered under her breath, but she reluctantly arranged her handbag and sweater so that she was reserving enough seats.  
  
First Sookie and Jackson arrived, and then Rory's grandparents. They took seats and all five of them whispered excitedly. Jess and Luke came right after, and they both took seats as well. Emily looked with disgust at the clothes that they were wearing. Luke had at least taken off his baseball cap and tucked in his shirt, but he still was underdressed, and Jess was wearing a Metallica shirt. She didn't get a chance to say anything though, because the headmaster had just come out to give his opening speech.  
  
Rory and Paris came out to do their Valedictorian speech. Paris went first. "Students of Chilton, faculty, parents, friends, family, and staff. This is the day we've all been waiting for. It has finally arrived. Some of us have been working hard enough at this school so that we might go to a prestigious Ivy League school. Some of us have taken advantage of what this Academy had to offer, and are now moving on to bigger and better things. Some of us will show up at the ten-year reunion as successful people. This is all partially due to this school and what it has taught us as an institution. Those people who worked this school to its full advantage will be the ones who will go on to show the world what Chilton students can do. They will go on to better this world, and for that, we would all like to offer our words of gratitude to this institution.  
  
"For me, it wasn't only this school that put me at this podium. Without my family, both in the dictionary sense of the word, and those who are my family even if we are not actually related, O Nanny, obrigado para todo que você ensinou-me e feito para mim sobre os anos. Amo-o. Thank you."  
  
Rory stood to take her place at the podium. "When I came to this school, I was a little scared. OK, I was petrified. I came from a public high school where no matter what, I knew that I could always make the grade, usually without even trying. Chilton forced me to do better. To push myself harder. To work to earn the grade. Chilton taught me to push myself in everything I do, and not to depend on a school, a teacher, anyone, to do that for me.  
  
"It was a hard road to get here. I couldn't have done it all on my own. Chilton taught me to be independent, but I also know that you can't always be independent. Sometimes you need someone else to lean on. To help you up when you fall. If it weren't for my grandparents, Richard and Emily Gilmore, I wouldn't be here today. They helped me in so many ways, both to get me here, to Chilton, and to get me where I'm going, to Yale. I love you very much. To my friends, who let me know when I was working too hard, to remind me that I am special, and to help me to know that I am important to someone. And of course, to my mother. Who gave up everything for me, who taught me everything she knows, who has offered guidance, support, and love. Thank you."  
  
When Rory looked into the audience, she saw a whole row full of people who were there just for her. And not one of them had a dry eye, no matter how hard they were trying to hide it.  
  
@@@@@  
  
"Hey baby-girl!" Lorelai said, as Rory came down the hall. "You did it!" They came together into a hug. "You ready to go?" Lorelai asked.  
  
"Yeah, I'm ready to go."  
  
They walked out to the Jeep and drove back to Stars Hollow. What they saw when they arrived was something that Rory was half expecting, and half not. A party.  
  
One of the first people she saw was Lane. "Hey! How did it go?"  
  
"Good. I'm so sorry you couldn't come!"  
  
"Yeah, well, Mama Kim said I couldn't go to Hartford. At least I was allowed to come to the party! I just can't eat anything that she didn't make. She's afraid of preservatives."  
  
"I'll sneak some pie for you."  
  
"And a sandwich. I don't care what it is, as long as there's meat. Mama's been going a little overboard on the tofu lately."  
  
"Got you covered." They hugged again, and Lane walked off to stand with her mother, who was glaring menacingly at pretty much everyone.  
  
"Hey Rory! Congratulations," Luke said, coming over.  
  
"Luke! Have you given it to her yet?" Lorelai asked.  
  
"Oh, no. You can do it."  
  
"No! Oh my God, Rory, it's so sweet."  
  
"What?" Rory asked.  
  
"It's in the truck. I was going to bring it over to your house after the party."  
  
They all walked over to Luke's truck. In the back was a four foot tall bookshelf with small purple flowers painted all over it. "It's for your dorm," Luke said.  
  
"Oh my God! I love it!" Rory gave Luke a huge hug. "Thank you."  
  
Luke didn't seem to know what to do with the hug, but he looked happy.  
  
Rory walked back to the party with the two of them and saw her grandparents standing uncomfortably by the gazebo.  
  
"Grandma, Grandpa. Thanks for coming."  
  
"Thank you for inviting us Rory. It was a beautiful ceremony," Emily said.  
  
"And thank you for your mention in your speech. It was a beautiful speech," Richard added.  
  
"We got you something for your graduation," Emily said, turning to Richard, who was pulling an envelope out of his breast pocket. He handed it to Rory, and she opened it.  
  
She pulled two two-way plane tickets to Paris out of the envelope. "Oh my God." She stared at what she was holding in her hand.  
  
"We thought that you and your mother might want to take a trip. You're your graduation. The plane leaves on July 21st. There's also a suggested itinerary in there," Emily said.  
  
"Thank you!" Rory threw her arms around first her grandmother and then her grandfather. "This is so. . . wow! Thank you."  
  
"Have fun darling," Emily said.  
  
"We should be getting back," Richard said, "But thank you for inviting us. We'll see you on Friday."  
  
"See you then. And thanks again!"  
  
Rory walked away, intent on telling her mother about the gift, when Jess approached her. "Hey you. I've been trying to talk to you this whole time, but I couldn't get a hold of you."  
  
"Well, I'm a very popular person. What's on your mind?"  
  
"Can we go talk? Somewhere quiet I mean?"  
  
"Sure." Rory linked her arm in Jess' and they walked to the bridge.  
  
"My mom wants me to come to New York." Jess paused. Rory wasn't sure if she should say anything. Luckily, Jess continued speaking. "She says that she convinced Pete to meet me. He's still not really that interested, and frankly, neither am I, but she's trying. And Luke says I have to go." He paused again and began to roll a leaf between his thumbs.  
  
"So anyways, I was wondering if maybe you would come with me."  
  
"To New York?"  
  
"Yeah."  
  
"When?"  
  
"Right after graduation. June 18th."  
  
Rory paused before saying, "Yes. I'll come with you."  
  
Jess smiled and reached out to take Rory in his arms. "I love you," he whispered softly, staring into her eyes.  
  
"I love you too," she said, her lips forming the words against his before they both leaned into each other for a kiss. 


	16. Her Baby

I am SO sorry for making you guys wait so long for this! I haven't had internet at school until now, and the first thing I thought of was to update my stories. So here goes!  
  
-----  
  
Rory had been pacing outside her mother's room for about ten minutes. She was trying to think of a way to tell her about Jess' request, and how she had agreed to go to New York with him. Finally, she took a breath and opened the door. Her mother was sitting up in bed reading a People magazine.  
  
"Hey babe! Come here! Get in with me." Lorelai patted the bed next to her, and Rory walked over and slid under the covers. She lay her head down and sank into the pillow. She sighed. Lorelai reached out and smoothed her hair.  
  
"You know baby," she said, I'm really proud of you. When you were up there yesterday. . . I am just so happy you did this. I always knew you would. And now you're on your way to Yale. . ." Lorelai smiled softly and kissed Rory on the forehead.  
  
Rory really didn't want to ruin this moment. Her mother was so happy right now. Rory knew that her mother didn't hate Jess as much as she had before: she had told her herself that she thought that she should try to go after Jess if it would make her happy. But still she knew that telling her mother that she was going to New York with Jess. . .  
  
But if not now, then when? Rory took a big breath and said, "Mom, I've got something to tell you."  
  
"Oh. . ." Lorelai looked worried, "OK. . ."  
  
"It's about Jess. . ."  
  
"Oh God. Were you safe? Just tell me if you were safe. Please say you were safe. Oh God."  
  
"What?"  
  
"You slept with Jess."  
  
"No! No. No I didn't."  
  
"Oh God Rory! Don't scare me like that."  
  
"Sorry. No, the thing is. . . Jess' mom is getting remarried. And the guy doesn't really like him much, but Jess' mom wants them to meet, so Jess has to go into New York right after graduation. And. . . he asked me to go with him."  
  
"And you said?" Lorelai said, although she was certain she already knew the answer.  
  
"I said yes."  
  
"Hm. . ."  
  
"I'll be staying in Jess' apartment."  
  
"Hm."  
  
"I love him, Mom."  
  
Lorelai paused before saying, "Have you told him that?"  
  
"Yes, and he says he loves me too. He actually said it first."  
  
"Have you talked about. . .sex with him yet?"  
  
"No. . .not yet. But I think the topic will come up soon."  
  
"You think he's going to bring it up?"  
  
"No, I think I'm going to bring it up."  
  
"Oh, OK." Lorelai bit her lip, like she was trying to think of the right thing to say to that. "You'll use protection, right?"  
  
"Yes."  
  
"I think you should go on the Pill. Just in case."  
  
"OK."  
  
"OK." Lorelai sat for a few moments before saying, "Honey, can you just give me a second here? Why don't you go get dressed, and we'll leave for Luke's in about half an hour."  
  
"Alright, Mom." Rory leaned over and kissed her mother's forehead before leaving the room, closing the door behind her.  
  
Lorelai watched the door. Her baby really had grown up. There was no stopping her now. 


	17. The Talk

Rory went into her room to get ready to go to Luke's. She had realized in her mother's room that she had vocalized the idea that she had been rolling around in her mind. She was ready to talk to Jess about having sex.  
  
She was truthfully a little nervous. OK, maybe she was a lot nervous. Their relationship was actually relatively new. She wouldn't have even considered this this early in her relationship with Dean. But she also hadn't been able to tell Dean she loved him. And she loved Jess. She was in love with Jess.  
  
She couldn't decide when she would bring it up. She figured that the moment would present itself and be right. Until then, well, her mother had said she could go on the Pill. Maybe she would get a prescription for that filled so that when she told Jess she was ready, she would actually be ready.  
  
She stood in front of the mirror and began to brush her hair. She began to think of all of the books she had read about girls who were about to do what she was planning, and how they were always nervous that their relationship would change. That was one thing she was really worried about. When she had been going out with Dean, and her relationship with Jess had been purely a friendship, she'd had nothing to fear. And so far, everything was going well. But what if what they said was true? What if sex did change everything? Would she still have the Jess who was her best friend, or would she only have, to put it vulgarly, a fuck-buddy?  
  
She sighed and put down her hairbrush. There was a lot to think about.  
  
@@@@@  
  
A few days had gone by, and Rory still hadn't brought up the topic of sex with Jess. She had, however, gone to see an OB-GYN with her mother and gotten a prescription for the Pill, which they had picked up at a pharmacy in Hartford. The little round container of pills was concealed in her underwear drawer. She had already started taking them. Now all she had to do was bring it up with Jess.  
  
Finally, one Saturday morning, Rory woke up and she knew. Today was the day. She was going to tell Jess. She got dressed and went into the kitchen where her mother was waiting for her.  
  
"Come on, baby-cakes. Let's go to Luke's."  
  
"No complaints here."  
  
"Fabulous."  
  
The two hooked arms and walked to Luke's together. A few blocks before they reached the diner, Rory pulled her mother off to the side of the street.  
  
"I'm telling Jess today," she said, almost whispering.  
  
"Wow. OK." They both paused, waiting for the other to talk.  
  
"Listen, Rory. Um, this is kind of an 'I want to know, and yet I don't want to know' situation. I guess. . . I guess I want to know when it happens, but not too many details, OK? You be the judge. But just so you know, I'm always here to listen, OK?"  
  
"OK." They smiled at each other and continued walking, finally reaching the diner. They walked straight to the counter and plopped down.  
  
"Coffee!" Lorelai demanded. "One for me, and one for the little one, here."  
  
Luke rolled his eyes, but he was too busy to complain. He set two mugs down in front of the girls and filled them with coffee before replacing the coffee pot behind the counter. Almost as an afterthought, he said to Rory, "Jess is still upstairs. You can go talk to him, and tell him I want his butt down here in half an hour."  
  
"There will be a butt belonging to Jess down in this diner in 30 minutes," Rory said, taking a huge swig of coffee and then bounding up the stairs.  
  
She crept more slowly as she reached the apartment door, not sure if Jess was asleep or awake. She tentatively knocked on the door.  
  
"Yeah?" came the reply from inside.  
  
She opened the door and saw that Jess was awake and reading on his bed.  
  
"Hey," she said, walking over.  
  
"Hey. I knew it was you," he said. "I can tell by the way you walk."  
  
"Oh," she replied, walking over to the bed and sitting on the edge.  
  
"Can we talk?" she asked.  
  
Jess put down his book and looked worried, then quickly changed his expression to guarded. "Is this one of THOSE talks?" he asked.  
  
"What?"  
  
"The ones where you say, 'we're moving too fast, I think we need to take a break'."  
  
"No! Why? Is that how you feel?"  
  
"Not at all, I just thought. . . OK, so it's not one of those talks. What's on your mind."  
  
"Well, it's funny you should mention moving too fast. . . because it's kind of the opposite."  
  
"What?"  
  
"Um, I think I'm ready."  
  
"Ready?"  
  
"Yeah. . . you know. . ."  
  
"Oh. Ready." Jess was silent. Rory tried to read his expression, but she couldn't.  
  
"Um, I know that I'm not supposed to be the one saying this, but, are you sure we aren't moving too fast?" he asked.  
  
Rory suddenly became the guarded one. "Forget it," she said.  
  
"No, I mean. . . maybe eventually, but. . . this is still kind of new. . . for both of us."  
  
"So?"  
  
"I don't know. . ."  
  
"OK, well. Luke wants you downstairs. I'll see you later." Rory spoke in a monotone, and she left before Jess could say a word. As soon as she got down to the diner, she grabbed her mother's arm.  
  
"Come on," she said.  
  
"Where are we going?" Lorelai asked.  
  
"Away," Rory said, trying to hold back tears. Lorelai heard the tears coming in her daughter's voice, and the two rushed out of the diner so that Rory wouldn't embarrass herself. Only one other person in the diner noticed how upset Rory was, and he was already halfway up the stairs to find out the cause of Rory's sadness from the one person who could tell him. 


	18. They'd Underestimated Him

As soon as he saw Rory running down those stairs and then practically drag Lorelai away from the counter, he knew something was up. And it could only be one thing. He was halfway up the stairs before he could even process his thoughts and he had thrown the apartment door opened.  
  
@@@@@  
  
Lorelai couldn't say a word to Rory as they rushed home. Rory was pulling ahead like a dog straining on its leash, and Lorelai had to do a skip every few steps to keep up with her. They finally got back to the house, and Rory flung herself down on her bed.  
  
@@@@@  
  
"What did you do?" Luke screamed, before even looking at Jess, who was on his bed, looking out the window. He turned his head to look at Luke and said simply, "I don't know."  
  
@@@@@  
  
"What's wrong sweetie?" Lorelai asked, even though she could make a very good guess based on what Rory had said about her plans this morning.  
  
"He didn't want me. He didn't want to."  
  
@@@@@  
  
"What do you mean you don't know? Of course you know! She came flying out of the diner like she was on fire, and you sit here saying you don't know what's wrong?"  
  
"She wanted me to sleep with her. And I didn't think she was ready, so I said we should wait."  
  
"What?"  
  
@@@@@  
  
"What?" Lorelai asked, barely able to process coherent thoughts. "He said what?"  
  
"He said that it was too soon, but I know that's not it. He's been with other girls. In New York. People whose names he barely knew. I'm just so embarrassed." Rory put her face in her pillow, and Lorelai reached out to smooth her hair.  
  
"Shh. . . baby, it's ok."  
  
@@@@@  
  
"We both know she's special, Luke. You say it to me all the time. 'Don't hurt Rory, she's special.' I know she's special. I don't want to be her mistake. The first one that you wish you could take back."  
  
Luke stared into his nephews eyes, sensing a compassion that he had never seen in him. Maybe he had underestimated Jess.  
  
@@@@@  
  
As Lorelai stroked her daughter's back, she had conflicting thoughts. For one, she was filled with the familiar urge to rip every appendage from Jess' body. But then again, she had a new feeling. Something that she didn't care to admit to herself while her daughter was crying her eyes out on her bed. But what if. . . maybe she had underestimated Jess. 


	19. The One I Want

After a while Rory had cried herself to sleep. Lorelai had left her daughter on her bed and gone upstairs, too worried to leave her alone. Rory finally woke up and she lay on her bed, recalling the events of the day to herself.  
  
She had been so excited. Nervous, but excited. She had wanted this. She had been ready. And he had rejected her. Never mind that he had vocalized the one thing she was worried about, that they were moving too fast for their own good, that this would ruin their friendship. She had just been so embarrassed to be turned down like that. She had finally gotten up the courage to tell him something, to give herself to him, and he had said no. And now she didn't know how she could face him.  
  
He would never see her the same way again. She would never see herself the same way again. Now she was the girl who had gotten turned down. Who had brought it up. Wasn't this supposed to be the other way around? Wasn't she the one who was supposed to tell him no, they were moving too fast? She was so confused. . .  
  
And yet. . . in all her sadness and embarrassment, she realized something. He was protecting her. He loved her and he was protecting her. She lay there on the bed for a moment, allowing these thoughts to soak in. Then she slid over to the edge of the bed and grabbed the sweatshirt that was lying on the desk chair. She walked quietly out of her room and out the front door.  
  
She wanted to go to the bridge, but for some reason, that didn't seem right. Whenever she wanted to be with Jess she went to the bridge, so why not now? She didn't analyze it. She just walked to the diner.  
  
It was closed, but the lights in the apartment were on. She considered her options for a moment. Should she just walk up the stairs and knock on the door? But Jess had probably told Luke everything. . . She could call, but she risked Luke picking up. . .  
  
It was worth the risk, she decided. She searched her pocket for a quarter and used the pay phone outside the diner to call the number that by now she had memorized. She heard two distinct ringings: the one in her ear, and the one in the apartment, only a few feet away. "Hello?" she heard. It was Jess. Her heart stopped in her chest for a moment and her breath was suspended in the air between the phone and her half-opened lips.  
  
"Hello?' he said again, "Rory? Is that you?"  
  
"I. . . I. . ."  
  
"Are you OK?"  
  
"Ye-yes."  
  
They were both silent for a moment. "Jess?"  
  
"Yeah."  
  
"Can you meet me downstairs?"  
  
"When?"  
  
"Now?"  
  
"Now?"  
  
"Yeah, I'm down here. . ." Rory saw Jess come to the window of the apartment.  
  
"Why, hello down there."  
  
"Hi."  
  
He hung up the phone, and so did she. She watched as his figure disappeared from the window, and then she saw him come down the stairs and unlock the door to the diner to come outside. He came over to her and they started to walk, matching step for step as they walked together. They both knew exactly where they were going. They didn't say anything. They walked to the well-worn planks of wood of the bridge and sat down. Neither said anything the entire time. Rory looked at Jess and saw that he was waiting for her to talk.  
  
"I'm sorry," she said, "I never should have asked you that. I just assumed. . . you see, I thought-I think I'm ready for that. And I thought that was OK with you. I just assumed that you had done it before. I mean, from what you were telling me about. . . about other girls you knew. . . I just didn't think it would be that big of a deal?"  
  
Jess didn't look at her the entire time she was speaking. He was clutching his knees to his chest and looking out on the water. "Hmm. . ."  
  
"I mean, I understand if you don't want to. . . I mean, I completely understand. . . That's not a problem. . . I just kind of. . . why? Why don't you want me?" She looked at him, tears burning her eyes. She refused to let them fall, held them captive behind her eyelashes.  
  
"I do."  
  
"What?"  
  
"I did want to. I do. I just. . ."  
  
"What?"  
  
"I don't want you to resent me, OK? If I stay the safe boyfriend, if we never sleep together. . . if I'm not your first, then I won't be the first that you always regret."  
  
"But. . . but I want you to be my first."  
  
"You'll think that of your next boyfriend. If we sleep together, then you'll regret that your next boyfriend couldn't be the first one. That always happens. You think that every guy you're with should have been your first and wonder why you gave it up to that loser." His hands were twitching, the way they did right before he smoked a cigarette, before he gave it up.  
  
"You're not that loser. You're not going to be that loser. If we. . . I never wanted to sleep with Dean, and I was with him for much longer than we've been together. I always took this so seriously, probably because of my mom and how she ended up. . . For a while I thought I would wait until I was married. But then. . . the more I thought about us. . . I want you to be my first. And you aren't going to be the first I regret. You're going to be the one I always remember."  
  
For the first time since they had started talking, Jess looked over at her. They stared into each other's eyes, and then Jess kissed her lightly, brushing his lips across her. She lay her head down on his shoulder and he tilted his head so it rested on hers. They sat like that and listened to the water. She reached for his hand. It was still. 


	20. That Was Perfect

"Mom!" Rory called from her room, "Where's my shirt?"  
  
"Uh... honey? You're gonna have to be a little more specific!" Lorelai called back downstairs.  
  
"The black one! The one with the off the shoulder thingy. . ."  
  
"Uh. . . that's your shirt?" Lorelai called.  
  
"Yes, Mom. It is!" Rory stepped out of her room in boxers and a t-shirt, the clothes that she had grabbed after taking a shower while she was doing her hair and makeup. She watched as the shirt in question came flying down the stairs and into her hands.  
  
"Thank you!" she called, and she walked back into her room. She took off her t-shirt and pulled on the black shirt. She stepped into a kahki skirt and black sandals. She was trying to get as much wear out of her black before it was too hot to wear. She took one last look in the mirror and tucked a strand of hair that had escaped from her claw clip behind her ear.  
  
"All right, Mom. I'm ready." Lorelai came downstairs clad in jeans and a t- shirt with folders and papers in her arms.  
  
"Where are you going?" asked Rory.  
  
"Well, you won't be here, so I decided to go to Luke's and get me some coffee and work there.  
  
"Um. . . Mom? Think a second. I'm going to Jess' graduation."  
  
"Yeah?"  
  
"Luke is Jess' uncle."  
  
"Yeah?"  
  
"Luke isn't going to be at the diner. He's going to be at the graduation with me."  
  
"Oh! The Armageddon has arrived! Luke isn't in the diner!"  
  
"Mom? Are you OK?"  
  
"Yeah, sweets. I'm fine. I'll just chill here and work." Lorelai set herself up at the kitchen table,  
  
"You sure?"  
  
"Yeah. I have stuff to do for work anyways. Don't worry babe."  
  
"All right. Well. I'm having dinner with Jess, so I dunno, order something or go to Luke's or something. Don't starve."  
  
"Who is the mother here?" Lorelai asked, her hands placed indignantly on her hips.  
  
"You are Mommy-dearest. Don't stay up too late eating candy and calling boys!" Rory joked, walking out the front door.  
  
"Be nice to your mother!" Lorelai called as she left.  
  
*****  
  
Rory was early, as always, so she decided to walk. She and Luke had planned to meet at the diner and go together so that they wouldn't have to sit alone: Luke didn't know any of the parents, and all of Rory's friends were in the ceremony, and she didn't really feel like sitting with her old classmate's parents.  
  
When she got to the diner, the door was opened, but Luke wasn't there. Rory, taking after her mother, stepped behind the counter and poured herself a cup of coffee to go before she walked up the apartment stairs. She stopped halfway, feeling like she was invading if Jess wasn't there.  
  
"Luke?" she called up the stairs tentatively.  
  
"Yeah?" he said, opening the apartment door, awkwardly trying to button the cuff button of the blue shirt he was wearing over his black pants. Rory smirked when she noticed that he wasn't wearing a baseball cap. He was trying to look nice. He was so proud that Jess was graduating.  
  
Rory had half a mind to ask Luke if he needed help with his cuff buttons, but he had finally fumbled them closed. As he locked the diner, she was glad. That would have been awkward.  
  
The two walked in comfortable semi-silence. Neither was much of a talker. They got to the school and found seats in the auditorium, where the ceremony was being held.  
  
They both waited anxiously until the ceremony finally started. Rory couldn't help but notice how much tackier this ceremony was than the one at Chilton, and then she felt terrible for thinking it.  
  
The one thing that wasn't tacky were the grins on the faces of Luke and Jess as "Jess Mariano" was called and Jess came up to receive his diploma. He tried to hide how happy he was, but Rory could tell. He took his diploma, and then, almost as an afterthought, he moved the tassle from his cap from one side to the other. Rory didn't notice she was crying until she saw a tear marr the surface of her skirt.  
  
*****  
  
Rory had asked about a thousand and a half times if Jess was sure that Luke didn't want to take him to dinner. Jess kept telling him that it was just awkward. They would have nothing to talk about. Besides, he was much happier to spend the evening with you. "You're prettier than he is."  
  
"I should hope so."  
  
Rory met Jess at the entrance of the auditorium. She had already seen Lane come out and hugged her and taken pictures with her before Mrs. Kim had whisked her off to meet and greet with all her Korean relatives. A few minutes later, Jess came out.  
  
He hadn't shed his robes yet, and Rory insisted on getting a picture of he and Luke together. They both grumbled, but they smiled for the picture. Then Luke insisted that he take one of Jess and Rory. Rory thought all the picture-taking would seem tedious and annoying to Jess, but after Luke took their picture, Jess took the camera from him and held it out to someone, asking if they would mind taking a picture of the three of them. Afterwords, Jess looked embarassed at having shown so much open emotion, and with barely two syllables he excused himself to go change.  
  
When he came back, Luke had already gone back to open the diner. Jess was dressed in black pants and a dress shirt. The two of them walked over to his car and got in. Jess put on the radio, and the two didn't really say much before they got to the restaurant Jess had picked: a little Italian place.  
  
They got out and walked into the restaurant. Jess gave his name, and they were escorted to a table. They looked over the menu, and they finally laid them down. "What are you having?" asked Jess.  
  
"Um. . . I think I'll have the bruschetta and fettucini alfredo."  
  
Jess summoned the waiter. When he arrived, Jess ordered in Italian and handed the waiter their menus. After the waiter had left, Rory just gaped at him. Jess reached for a piece of bread and dipped it in olive oil, allowing the excess to drip. He popped it in his mouth and chewed slowly before he acknowledged Rory's expression.  
  
"What?" he asked, innocently.  
  
"I didn't know you spoke Italian."  
  
"There's a lot of things you don't know about me Gilmore," he said, with a smirk.  
  
"Where did you learn?"  
  
"Where did you think Mariano came from? Ireland?" He smiled and chuckled. Rory just shook her head and took a sip from her water glass.  
  
Jess watched her as she smiled contentedly to herself for a few minutes before he called her on it. "What are you so smiley about?"  
  
"You. Graduating."  
  
"Aw. . . shucks."  
  
The two continued with their easy banter until long after they had stopped eating their shared dessert and Rory had finished off a cup of coffee, "Only one," Jess had insisted, "Or you'll never sleep." Rory had pouted, but Jess stood fast.  
  
He drove her home and pulled into her driveway. They shared a quick kiss. "I love you," Rory murmured, her lips brushing against his as she spoke. "I love you," he whispered back. They shared one more kiss before Rory got out of the car. She smiled to herself as she walked up to the front door.  
  
"That was perfect," Lorelai said from the couch, not moving her eyes from the TV.  
  
"What was?" Rory asked.  
  
"The amount of time from when that car pulled into the driveway to when your door closed."  
  
"Night Mom."  
  
"Night babe."  
  
Rory walked into her room and began to undress. The entire time they had been in the restaurant, they had not once brought up the subject of sex. Rory was still on the pill and she still planned on sleeping with Jess. That wasn't the point. The point was that the part of their relationship that she had been sure would be gone once they had made this decision to sleep together was still there. The friendly banter that had started when she and Jess were just friends.  
  
"Mom was right," she whispered aloud to herself, "That was perfect." 


	21. Letting People In

Sorrysorrysorry PLEASE don't hurt me. I know this took forever. I'm trying to make up for it now...  
  
-----  
  
At seven o'clock in the morning on June 18th, Rory put her backpack on her back, grabbed another bag in her hand, and let herself out of the house. She had already gone up to her mother's room and kissed her goodbye. Lorelai had mumbled something about light and hamsters and gone back to sleep.  
  
Rory closed the door behind her and turned around, smiling as she saw Jess sitting on the hood of his car, waiting for her. She walked over to the car and he took her bags to put in the trunk. She handed him one of the bags but threw her backpack in the front seat. "My books," she said. Jess nodded, smiling.  
  
"Morning," he said, kissing her softly.  
  
"Ugh," she responded.  
  
"Coffee?" Jess asked, magically making a steaming hot to-go cup appear. Rory reached out for it, grinning, but Jess pulled it out of her reach. Rory pouted, crossing her arms over her chest.  
  
"Meanie," she said, scowling at him.  
  
"You have to pay for this, just like all the other customers," Jess said with a slight smirk.  
  
"Oh yeah?" she said.  
  
"Yeah," he responded, leaning down towards her. Rory looked up at him and kissed him, and as they kissed Jess lowered his hand until the hot cup came to rest in Rory's hands. He pulled back and opened the door for her, and she got into the car, simultaneously drinking from the cup.  
  
Jess closed the door and walked around the back of the car. Rory was suddenly reminded of a scene from A Bronx Tale, and she leaned over to pull up the button to unlock the door on Jess' side. When he came around to his door, he saw her do it and smiled. He got into the car and put the keys in the ignition.  
  
"So I'm C?"  
  
"Yeah," she said, smiling.  
  
"Well then I guess you're worth keeping," he said. She laughed and pretended to swat at him, but he just smiled and then turned in his seat so that he could back out of the driveway.  
  
@@@@@  
  
After a little while, Rory started rummaging through her backpack. She had finished her coffee a while back, and the caffeine was making her jumpy. She pulled out a copy of "The Great Gatsby" and began to read from where she had left off.  
  
"Read it out loud," Jess said. Rory looked up and saw that he was still watching the road.  
  
"I"m in the middle," she said.  
  
"That's OK. I don't mind."  
  
Rory paused a moment, and then she complied, "She laughed again, as if she had said something very witty, and held my hand for a moment, looking up into my face, promising that there was no one else in the world she so much wanted to see. That was a way she had. She hinted in a mumer that the surname of the balancing girl was Baker. (I've heard it said that Daisy's murmer was only to make people lean towards her; an irrelevant criticism that made it no less charming.)" Rory was silent for a moment.  
  
"What?" Jess said.  
  
"Is that you?"  
  
"Nick?"  
  
"No, Daisy. Is that why you're so quiet? It's not so that people won't come in, is it? It's not to lock people out, it's to make them come closer."  
  
Jess was silent for a moment. Then he spoke. "It's to keep people out," he said.  
  
Rory looked down at her hands, embarassed at how presumptuous she had been, but then Jess spoke again.  
  
"It's to keep some people out, so that there's room for the people who I want to come closer," he finished in a soft voice.  
  
Rory looked at him and then she slowly reached out for the hand that he had rested on the partition between the two of them. She laced her fingers through his. His hand was large and square and looked hard, but she found that his palm was actually very soft.  
  
@@@@@  
  
The drive to New York didn't take a terribly long time. About two hours, and then they were in Manhattan. As they got closer and closer to Jess' apartment, both Rory and Jess got silent, and Rory began to squirm in her seat.  
  
"Do you, um, want to get dinner before we go to the apartment?" Jess asked. Rory could sense that the answer he wanted was the same as the one she wanted to give.  
  
"Sure," she said.  
  
"Great. I know a place."  
  
Jess drove down the streets until he found a parking spot and then the two of them got out. They walked into a small Spanish restaurant, Rosita's. There were two Columbian men sitting at the counter, but Jess came up behind Rory, taking her by the waist, and he steered her to a small table by the window.  
  
"Did you come here a lot?" Rory asked, "When you lived here I mean?"  
  
"A bit," Jess said, looking at the menu.  
  
The two placed their orders and then looked out the window. "Columbia is right up there," Jess said.  
  
"University?" Rory said, suddenly interested.  
  
"Yeah. When I was younger, in junior high and high school, I used to come up here and pretend I went there. I was planning on it, but then. . . well. . . things got out of hand. . ." he trailed off and began to examine his fingernails in great depth.  
  
"You could still go there," Rory said, "You could transfer for your sophomore year."  
  
"Naw. I wanna be with you," he said.  
  
"I want to be with you too," she said, somewhat uncertainly. Not because she didn't know she wanted to be with Jess, but because she felt as if this topic were still unfinished. She didn't want to pry though, but she wanted to let Jess know that. . . that what? Would she transfer if he wanted to? Would she come to Columbia with him? Would she move even farther away from Lorelai to be with Jess? She looked at him.  
  
Yes. If he really wanted to, she decided, she would transfer with him. She wanted to be with him. This was the real thing, she could feel it. 


	22. Meeting Liz

After they had eaten lunch, Rory and Jess walked around the Upper West Side, checking out CD and book stores as they walked. Rory knew that Jess was just stalling, but she didn't want to say anything. She didn't really blame him. They finally got back in the car and Jess began driving, two hands on the steering wheel. Rory automatically knew that something was wrong: Jess' driving style was not cautious, as she well remembered from the time so long ago that they had been driving together, and yet he was looking straight ahead, glancing in the rearview mirror at regular intervals and checking his blind spots. It was if, instead of Rory, a tester from the DMV was sitting in the passenger seat. Again, Rory knew not to say anything. She knew from past experience that it was best to leave Jess alone when he was nervous. When other people craved comforting, Jess locked people out and snapped at them when they did try to approach him. No, it was best to just sit here, quietly, and wait until Jess finally spoke to her.  
  
Jess finally reached West 34th street and pulled into an empty parking spot along the narrow street. He sat in the car for a moment, the key already out of the ignition, both hands still firmly on the steering wheel. He finally unbuckled his seatbelt and opened his door. Rory stayed where she was.  
  
"Do.. do you want me to wait out here first?" she asked timidly.  
  
"No," Jess said.  
  
"OK." Rory tentatively unbuckled her seatbelt and reached for the hnadle on the passenger side door.  
  
"Wait!" Jess yelled, and Rory quickly removed her hand and sat up straight.  
  
"I thought you-"  
  
"No, there's just traffic. Wait until the red light." Jess was standing outside the car, his door still opened, looking down the street into the oncoming traffic. "OK, you can open your door now."  
  
"OK. . ." Rory opened the door again, and suddenly heard a horn honk loudly, right next to the car.  
  
"What? What? It's a red light, fucker! Where are you going? Where are you going in such a hurry?" Jess screamed at the man who had honked his horn. Rory quickly opened her door and got out, slamming it and running around the back of the car to where Jess was standing. She suddenly realized how busy the city was. All of the cars and people in such a hurry. No wonder Jess had alwayse been so harsh: how could anyone grow up in this city and not be like that? With all the craziness all around you, people trying to cut corners to make their lives easier no matter how much danger it put other people in. . . Rory slid her arm around Jess' back, and Jess draped a protective arm around her, slamming his car door. They walked like that up to the stoop of an apartment building. Jess drew a key out of his pocket and stood on the stoop, looking at the black painted door, unable to do anything for a moment. Then he took a breath, removed his arm from Rory's shoulder, and stepped forward to unlock the door. He swung it forward, stepping back to let Rory walk in first. They stepped into a small elevator, and Jess pressed 7. The elevator jolted to a start. A small bell dinged every time they passed a floor. After the fourth ding, Jess reached for Rory's hand. They weaved their fingers together and stood facing the doors.  
  
At the seventh ding, Jess tensed up and then the two of them walked out of the elevator into a dark hall. Jess turned to the left out of the elevator and came to face a large grey door. He reached out and pushed the buzzer with one finger. They waited a moment and someone came to the door. Rory heard a small click and then a woman's voice saying "Jess!"  
  
The door flew opened and Rory saw a woman who she assumed to be Jess' mother standing in the doorway. She looked old and tired, but Rory knew that she was not much older than her own mother. She had fake blond hair and tired eyes that had been lined in eyeliner and eyeshadow in an attempt to make her look more awake. Her cheeks and lips were sunken, and both were painted pink.  
  
The woman reached out both arms in an attempt to give Jess a hug, and it was apparent that neither had done this in a long time. Jess waited a beat and then reached out to give his mother a half hug, one hand still clenching Rory's tightly, even though Rory had let hers go limp in an attempt to allow Jess to give his mother a more suitable embrace.  
  
"Wow. Jess. You're taller."  
  
"Nope."  
  
"Well, you look taller. And who is this young lady?" Two things were apparent: one was that Liz was straining to speak so nicely. It was obvious that Jess had never heard her speak like this, and also that Liz had never spoken like this. The other thing was that Jess had definitely not told Liz that Rory was coming.  
  
"This is Rory," Jess said. Luckily, he was holding her left hand, so her right was free to shake hands with Liz.  
  
"It's very nice to meet you," Rory said quietly.  
  
"Oh! You're so sweet," Liz said, sounding surprised. Rory remembered what Jess had once told her about the kind of girls he used to date. She looked straight down at her shoes.  
  
"Liz!" she suddenly heard a gruff man's voice. A tall man suddenly appeared beside Liz. "You must be Jess," he said, nodding in Jess' general direction..  
  
"And you'd be Pete," Jess said, giving Pete a similar nod.  
  
""Who's that?" he said, gesturing to Rory with a ham sandwich he was holding.  
  
"That's Rory," Liz said.  
  
"Oh yeah? Where's Rory staying?"  
  
"She's staying here," Jess said. Rory hated when people talked about her as if she wasn't there. She felt like a burden.  
  
"Oh yeah? Where?"  
  
"With me."  
  
"She looks like a goody-two shoes. You sure Princess is OK with staying with big, bad Jess?" Pete sneered.  
  
Rory was taken aback. She didn't like it here. She wished she had never agreed to come. No one back in Stars Hollow would have ever spoken about her like that.  
  
Jess hadn't answered Pete. The two men were just standing, staring at each other.  
  
"Well, uh, why don't the two of you come in?" Liz said, standing to the side so there was room. Jess held Rory's hand tighter.  
  
"I'm going to get our luggage, and then I'm taking Rory to dinner. We'll be back late. Don't wait up for us," Jess said. Jess released Rory's hand and all of a sudden, she felt very alone. Jess turned to get on the elevator, but she stopped him as he was turning, when he was facing her. "Do you want me to come with you?" she asked in a whisper, her face blocked by Jess' so that Pete and Liz couldn't see what she was saying.  
  
"No, just wait here. I'll be right back." He turned and got on the elevator, leaving Rory all alone. She watched the closing doors and then slowly turned to look at Liz and Pete.  
  
"Come on in. . . Lori, was it?"  
  
"Rory," Rory corrected, quietly.  
  
"Rory, well, that's not a name you hear every day." Liz ushered her into the small apartment.  
  
"It's short for Lorelai. My mom named me after her."  
  
"Well, that's interesting. Here, why don't you have a seat Rory, tell me about yourself."  
  
They were standing in the living room. Pete went into the kitchen, Liz sat down on a sofa, and Rory perched on the edge of a large chair.  
  
"So, you're from Stars Hollow?"  
  
"Yes," Rory said, quietly.  
  
"Did you go to Stars Hollow with Jess?"  
  
"No, um, I went to Chilton. It's a private school in Hartford."  
  
"Oh. Well then, how did the two of you meet?"  
  
"Oh, well, um, my mom and I are Luke's best customers and, uh, he and my mom are really close friends, so when Jess came we, uh, kind of had him over for dinner?"  
  
"Oh, well that's nice of you. So you know my brother, then?"  
  
"Yeah. Luke's kind of been like, a surrogate father for me."  
  
"Oh. . . he's dating your mother?"  
  
"Uh, no. It's kind of complicated. He's just always been there for us. He helped us find our house after we moved out of the inn. . ."  
  
"The inn? Oh, I'm sorry, I don't mean to pry."  
  
"Uh, no, no it's OK. Um, my mom actually grew up in Hartford, and then, she uh, got pregnant when she was sixteen and then left her parents house to live in Stars Hollow. And uh, she worked at an inn, so we lived there for a while, and then we finally got enough money to move into a house."  
  
"Oh."  
  
"Rory!" Jess called.  
  
"We're in here, Jess," Liz called back. Jess came into the room and walked up behind Rory.  
  
"We're going to go, now," Jess said. Rory stood up next to him and followed him out of the apartment and into the hall. They let the door close behind them.  
  
"So that was your mom?" Rory said.  
  
"Yeah, that was my mom." 


	23. Let's Just Sleep

Jess and Rory walked out of the building and down the street to a small restaurant for dinner. They didn't say much throughout dinner, and when they were finished, they left and walked back to the apartment building. Jess had his arm around Rory, and Rory had her arm around Jess back with her hand in his back pocket. They went up in the elevator to the apartment. Jess reached out to ring the bell when he saw a Post-It note on the door.  
  
"We went out to dinner and a late movie. We'll be back around three. -Liz"  
  
Jess reached above the door and felt around for a moment and finally pulled a key down to unlock the door. He replaced the key and then walked in, locking the door behind him. Rory followed him to the back of the apartment. He opened a door to a room and closed and locked it behind Rory. He reached for the light switch and flicked on the light. Rory looked around. It was a relatively small room with a wooden desk, a large bookshelf, mostly empty, and a queen-sized bed with a green comforter over green flannel plaid sheets.  
  
"This is your room?"  
  
"Yeah, this was my room." Rory noted Jess' use of the past tense. Jess walked over to his bed and sat on it.  
  
"C'mere." Rory obeyed and walked over. Jess reached out for her waist and pulled her down to sit on his lap. She sat down, both of her legs on one side She leaned forward and kissed him. He layed back, pulling her down on top of him and then rolled her over so that he was on top. He reached to undo the buttons of her shirt, and she lifted his over his head. She kissed him, exploring his back and stomach with her hands, although she had already memorized every inch. Suddenly, they both stopped kissing and sat up. Rory knew that they were both thinking the same thing.  
  
"Uh, Jess? Where do you want me to sleep?"  
  
"You can have my bed. I can sleep on the floor. If you want."  
  
"I don't want to put you out."  
  
"You're not." Jess reached for his shirt.  
  
"No, but, I'd rather you sleep in the bed."  
  
"I'm not taking the bed and putting you on the floor."  
  
"That's not what I mean."  
  
Jess stopped pulling his shirt over his head. He had his hands through the armholes, and he just held them like that, held together by the material of his shirt, in his lap.  
  
Rory looked away, embarassed.  
  
"You don't have to."  
  
"I won't unless you want me to."  
  
"I want you to."  
  
"OK."  
  
Rory was staring at the sheets, and Jess was staring, straight at her. Rory was playing with the material, and Jess could feel that there was something else she wanted to say. He waited.  
  
"But. . . I don't. . . could we just. . ."  
  
"Just sleep? Yes."  
  
Rory looked up at him. "Thank you."  
  
Jess kissed her softly and quickly, just a brush of his lips against hers. "I love you."  
  
"I love you too."  
  
Rory stood up. "I'm going to go change," she said.  
  
"OK," Jess said, "There's a bathroom down the hall." She picked up her bag and unlocked and opened Jess' bedroom door. She went into the bathroom, changed into pajama pants and a t-shirt, and brushed her teeth and washed her face. She brushed her hair back into a ponytail and then carried her bag back out of the bathroom. She knocked tentatively on Jess' door.  
  
"Jess?"  
  
"Yeah?"  
  
"Can I come in?"  
  
"Yeah."  
  
She opened the door and put her bag down in the corner. Jess was lying on his bed in boxers and a t-shirt, reading. Rory walked over and lay down next to him, between him and the wall. She layed her head down on his chest.  
  
"Will you read to me?" she asked.  
  
"Sure," he said, turning back to the first page of the book he had started. "Do you want to get under the comforter before I start?" he asked.  
  
"No, I'm ok," she said. She noticed that her pajama pants were almost exactly the same plaid as his sheets.  
  
"OK." Jess rubbed small circles on her back with one hand while holding the book with the other. "Mother died today. Or maybe yesterday. I don't know which. I got a telegram from the home: 'Mother passed away. Burial tomorrow. Sincere sentiments.' Maybe it was yestersay."  
  
Rory closed her eyes, feeling the soft rhythm of Jess' hand on her back, of his vocal cords vibrating through his chest and into her ear, of his soft breathing, of his hearbeat. She fell asleep to his voice. 


	24. Liz

When Rory woke up, the first thing she noticed was that she wasn't alone. The second thing she noticed was that Jess was awake. The third thing she noticed was that he was watching her.  
  
"Morning," he said quietly as he noticed her eyelids fluttering opened.  
  
"Morning. How long have you been there?"  
  
"All night."  
  
"No, I mean, how long have you been watching me."  
  
All night. "Uh, a few minutes." Jess climbed out of the bed the two had been sharing. "Breakfast?"  
  
"Yeah." Rory followed him out of bed.  
  
"Great hair by the way," Jess said, walking in the direction of the kitchen.  
  
Rory reached up for her hair. The neat ponytail she had done the night before had become disheveled and was now on the side of her head, half of her hair in, half out. She pulled the hair tie out of her hair and flipped her head over, pulling her hair into another ponytail. She followed Jess into the kitchen.  
  
"Better?" she asked.  
  
"Hey, I wasn't judging." He opened a cabinet. "God, Lizzie, do you ever clean when I'm not here?" he muttered. He rummaged around and finally pulled a frying pan out. He looked at it for a moment, and then began to run it under the tap.  
  
"Eggs OK?" he asked.  
  
"Sure. And coffee."  
  
"Sorry Charlie," Jess said with a smile, putting the pan on the stove and walking to the fridge to get the eggs out. "Lizzie's a strictly vodka in the morning kind of gal." He cracked two eggs into the pan. He then took two slices of wonder bread and put them in the toaster.  
  
"Then what's with the Mr. Coffee over there?"  
  
Jess looked over to where Rory was pointing. "Huh. Well, look at that. Looks like someone's conformed to the rest of America."  
  
"What are you ranting about, Jessie?" Liz asked, coming into the kitchen. Rory suddenly felt self-conscious in her pajamas.  
  
"Nothing, just your decision to replace morning alchohol with caffeine."  
  
"Oh. That." Liz walked over to the coffee pot and poured herself a cup. "Jess?"  
  
"Nope," he said, walking to the fridge and taking out the orange juice, pouring himself a glass.  
  
"Rory?" Liz asked.  
  
"Yes, please. But I'll get it."  
  
"Nonsense." Liz poured a second cup of coffee. "Milk? Sugar? Sweet 'n Low?"  
  
"Uh, no thanks. Just black."  
  
"You sure?"  
  
"She just drinks it black, Liz," Jess said from the corner where he was frying the eggs.  
  
"Oh, alright."  
  
"Thank you," Rory said, accepting her coffee quietly.  
  
The three sat in the kitchen in awkward silence. "So, uh, you cook now, Jess?" Liz asked in an attempt to break the awkwardness.  
  
"Yeah. Luke taught me. You kind of have to in order to work in a diner."  
  
"Oh. Of course. What are you making."  
  
"Fried eggs." He paused. "Want one?"  
  
"Oh, sure."  
  
Jess reached into the pink egg carton and pulled out another egg, cracked it into the pan, and flipped one of the eggs already in the pan onto a plate. He took one of the pieces of toast, swiped it with butter, and put it on the plate with the egg. He walked over to the table and put it down in front of Rory.  
  
"Thank you."  
  
"No problem."  
  
Rory sat at the table staring at her food, remembering something her grandmother had once told her about waiting until everyone was served before she began eating.  
  
"Well go ahead, start!" Liz said.  
  
"Oh, that's OK. I'll wait until yours are done."  
  
"Nonsense."  
  
"They're done," Jess said, sliding a plate in front of his mother and walking back to put another piece of bread in the toaster.  
  
Rory waited one more moment for Jess to sit down with his plate, and Liz mimicked her. Jess finally sat down with his plate, and they all began to eat. Rory noticed that the smile he had been wearing when they had entered had disappeared when Liz had come in, being replaced by the guarded look he wore around people he didn't know well. Rory found it odd that this would be the expression he would take out around his mother, with whom he had lived for the majority of his eighteen years.  
  
"So, what are you two doing today?" Liz asked in an attempt to make conversation.  
  
"I'm just gonna show her around. Maybe we'll head downtown. Hit the Strand?" he asked, directing his question at Rory, not at his mother.  
  
"Sure. Sounds like fun," Rory answered.  
  
"All right, well have fun you two."  
  
"OK," Jess answered. Liz sat at the table for a few more moments before she stood and walked out, leaving her dirty plate on the table. Rory and Jess finished their breakfast in silence and then Jess swept all three plates away without allowing Rory to help him. He rinsed them in the sink and then loaded them into the dishwasher.  
  
"You can take a shower if you want, and then we can head out when you're ready. Just use one of the towels on the door."  
  
"OK," Rory said, and she went in to take a shower. As she shampooed her hair, she thought about the tense relationship she had been observing between Jess and his mother. She had never seen anything like it. Of course her relationship with Lorelai wasn't like that, but even between Lorelai and Emily, or Lane and Mrs. Kim, it wasn't the same. Then she realized the difference: with Emily and Mrs. Kim, there were fights involved. Emotion. Between Jess and Liz, there was nothing. Like they were strangers.  
  
Rory stepped out of the shower and towel-dried her hair. She put on a pair of jeans and a t-shirt and then walked back to the room, still rubbing her wet hair with the towel. Jess was in the room, showered and dressed, reading a book on his bed. She layed the towel on his desk chair and then walked over to him, sliding her hand behind his head and leaning down to kiss him. He layed the book down beside him and pulled her down on top of him.  
  
"Hey," he said, and smiled, like he had that morning before he had seen his mother in the kitchen.  
  
"Hey." She smiled down at him and pushed a stray lock of hair off his forehead. It was still wet from his shower. She kissed him again, this time a longer kiss, tongues exploring. A desperate kiss, though desperate for what Rory didn't know. After they kissed, Rory rolled off Jess and lay down beside him. A few moments passed, and then Jess asked, "So, you wanna go downtown?"  
  
"Sure," Rory said, standing. "I'll just get my purse." Rory grabbed it off Jess' desk and then slipped on her sneakers. "Let's go."  
  
Jess stood and took his wallet from his desk, slipping it into the pocket of his khaki cargos. He placed his hand on the small of her back and guided her out of the room, taking the key from the keyhole and shutting the door behind him. He locked the door from the outside and then slipped the key in his pocket. Rory wanted to ask the obvious, but she wanted his smile to remain. They walked to the front door, and Jess opened it for her.  
  
"Shouldn't you tell your mom where we're going?"  
  
"We're leaving!" Jess called, and then closed the door behind him, taking the key she had seen him hide over the door the night before with them. They stepped onto the elevator and rode down. They talked as they walked to the subway stop.  
  
"You aren't taking your car?"  
  
"People don't drive in the city. They walk. Or take the subway." He swiped his Metrocard twice, once for him and once for her.  
  
"Two dollars. Wow, things have changed since I've been gone," Jess muttered under his breath as they stepped on and the doors closed behind them.  
  
"What?"  
  
"They raised the price of a subway ride from one fifty to two dollars. Damn Bloomberg."  
  
"Who?"  
  
"He's the mayor." The subway jerked to a start and Rory felt herself lose her footing. Jess caught her around the waist and held her with one hand, the other holding the metal bar. Rory reached for the pole as well, but Jess still didn't let go of her. Not until they reached the Union Station stop and got off.  
  
They walked towards the Strand, but stopped in a small CD store. It wasn't the same one as they had been in the last time she was here, but it was filled with CDs and records just as obscure. They were flipping through records across from each other when Rory finally built up the courage to ask the question she had been dying to ask all day.  
  
"Jess?"  
  
"Hmm?" he said, not looking up from the records. Rory continued to flip, but she wasn't looking at the records she was touching anymore.  
  
"Why are you so guarded around your mom?"  
  
"What?"  
  
"You wear your brick wall face around her. The one you wear around strangers."  
  
"It's complicated." He still hadn't looked up.  
  
It was one of those moments when Rory knew she shouldn't press, but she couldn't help it. "Explain it to me."  
  
"Rory. I don't want to talk about it."  
  
"Please Jess? I won't judge."  
  
"It's not about that." He left the stack he had been flipping through and walked to a different section of the store. Rory followed him against her better judgement: he didn't want to be followed.  
  
"Then what?"  
  
"Rory! Just drop it. Please." He shouted.  
  
She stopped where she was and felt hot salt migrate to her eyes. She knew she shouldn't be upset: it was her own fault. She should know by now when to stop pressing when it came to Jess. Now he had put up his brick wall face for her too. The whole purpose of this conversation was supposed to be about him letting go of it, not putting it on more often.  
  
She took a breath and then walked over to where he was. She saw him tense when he heard her footsteps.  
  
"Rory. . ."  
  
"No, it's OK. I'm sorry. Let's just drop it. Forget I said anything."  
  
Jess nodded, but he didn't look up. He still had on his guarded face. She tried again.  
  
"It's none of my business. It's between you and your mom. Not me."  
  
"Don't worry about it."  
  
Rory wanted to keep going. She didn't know what she could say to make that face melt away, but she had learned her lesson for the day about pressing Jess, so she began to sort through some records near Jess. When both of them had looked and Jess had bought a vintage single of some band Rory had never heard of, they walked out of the store towards the Strand.  
  
Jess had his arm around Rory, but he looked distracted. Instead of bringing it up, Rory began to summarize a book she had been reading. When they got to the store, Jess walked straight to a section of rare signed classics.  
  
"I'm going back to fiction, Come find me there when you're done," she said.  
  
"OK," he replied, already involved in searching for a book. Rory walked back to fiction and began to browse, pulling things off the shelf at random and either replacing them or adding them to a small stack she had going on the floor. As she was pulling a book with a bright green cover off the shelf, she felt an arm wrap around her. Her heart leapt to her throat. She whirled around. It was Jess. She put her hand to her chest and caught her breath.  
  
"Jesus Christ! You scared me!"  
  
"Sorry," Jess said, with half a smile. A smile. Rory grinned. She reached out and wrapped her arms around his waist and kissed him.  
  
"Find anything?" she asked.  
  
"Not what I was looking for in classics, but I'll come back some other time and see. You?"  
  
Rory gestured to the stack on the floor. Jess scoffed. "Figures. Junkie."  
  
"I am not!"  
  
"You have a problem."  
  
"I do not!"  
  
"You ready to go?"  
  
"Sure," she said. She reached for her books and added the bright green one she had dropped to the stack.  
  
They walked up to the counter and paid for the books, and then they walked out, Rory with her very own oversized Strand bag.  
  
They walked in silence for a little bit, and then Rory heard Jess take a huge breath and say, "It's because she is a stranger."  
  
"What?"  
  
"My mom."  
  
"I told you not to worry about it."  
  
"I know," he said, "But that's why."  
  
Rory didn't want to ask for clarification, but she was confused. Jess must have noticed, because he said, "That's why I wear the stranger face around her. Because she is a stranger." He took a breath. "Look, when you were little, Lorelai probably played with you, read you books, stuff like that, right?"  
  
"I think she got more out of it than I did."  
  
"OK, so, when I was little, my mom should have done those things, right?" Rory didn't answer.  
  
Jess continued. "When I was really little, we had a housekeeper. Her name was Beatrice, and she was always around. Liz wasn't. Then we ran out of money and had to get rid of her. So I would get on the bus every morning by myself and take it home at night. Sometimes Liz would be there, sometimes not. If she was, she might eat dinner with me, if she wasn't I called for takeout or put something in the microwave. Then I met the guys, and well, I guess you know the rest of the story."  
  
Rory was pretty sure of the general details, so she nodded.  
  
"Now, you'll notice, she's trying to be all nice and sweet and motherly, but I would just prefer if she stayed how she was. She was like that for 18 years. I'm grown now. I don't need a mother anymore. She lost her chance at that."  
  
Rory stared at her shoes and then wrapped her arms around Jess and planted a kiss on his cheek. She smiled at him and then turned back so that the two could continue on their way to the subway. 


	25. Are You Ready?

When they got back to the apartment, they walked right back to Jess' room. He pulled the key out of his pocket and unlocked the door. He locked it behind them, and then Rory walked ahead of him to sit on his bed. She waited a beat, and then tapped the comforter next to her to gesture for him to sit with her. He came over, and she reached up and kissed him. He closed his eyes and relaxed into her, something she almost never felt from him. He was always guarded, even with his kisses, but here he let go, inhaled her sweet scent, pulled her so close to him that she thought they might meld together to become one person.  
  
He reached for the hem of her shirt and lifted it a bit so that he could wrap his hands around her back. She had already put her hands all the way up the back of his shirt, massaging his back muscles with her fingertips.  
  
Jess pulled the hem of her shirt up and over her head, causing a brief hiatus of the kissing. She marveled at the way this was so routine for them that it was never awkward. He could always get her shirt off without any effort. One swift movement. Lorelai would be steaming if she knew. She smiled at the thought of Lorelai knowing how easy it was for Jess to remove her shirt. Jess felt the smile in the kiss. Rory pulled Jess' shirt off as well, and he gently lowered her onto the bed. They kissed like that for a while, and then Jess slowly moved his hand to her belt.  
  
  
  
Her voice was timid. Scared. He recoiled immediately, but continued kissing her form where they had left off. Rory, however, pushed him off her. Lightly, nicely, but with force. He sat up and ran his hand through his hair as he usually did when he was frustrated or nervous.  
  
Ror, I'm- I just got caught in the moment.  
  
she said, cutting him off, It's OK.  
  
Jess gave her a look that turned his eyebrow into the question mark that punctuated his unasked question.  
  
I mean... just... Rory reached for the comforter and covered herself. She suddenly felt very exposed.  
  
I want to... play a game, she said.  
  
A game? Jess asked. She could tell that he was confused.  
  
It's this game that girls play at slumber parties. Kind of like truth or dare. We each get to ask each other a revealing question. We take turns. And you have to answer all the questions. We play until... she trailed off, but Jess knew what she meant.  
  
He frowned for a moment. Rory knew that this was hard for him, but she also knew that if she was really going to go through with what she was going to, she needed to know a little bit more. She wasn't sure if he was going to play' or not.  
  
he said, running his hand through his hair three or four times. He backed up so that his back was to the wall. Rory had her back to the backboard of his bed, leaning against his pillow so she could see him in profile if he looked straight ahead, which he didn't. He looked wiith great determination at his fingernails, as if in them was written the mystery of all life.  
  
You can go first, Rory said.  
  
He shook his head. Rory nodded.  
  
she started. She knew what she wanted to ask, but she decided to start smaller and work her way up.  
  
When did you first find out you loved reading? she asked.  
  
Third grade, he answered, without even pausing to think. That was when we had to let Beatrice go. I was really lonely a lot of the time, so I would get on the public bus with my allowance of a dollar fifty and ride it up and down the city, reading on the back bench.  
  
Rory nodded, smiling as she imagined a slightly smaller, surly Jess reading in the back of a public bus.  
  
How about you? When did you find out you loved reading?  
  
Well... I guess it was as soon as I learned how. Five maybe? Six? I don't really know much about little kids or when they learn to read. I just know that we still lived at the inn. When I was really small, I used to ride around with my mom when she did her rounds, but as I got older, that started to get boring and the other maids didn't really like my mom or the fact that she had me, so I would stay in the shed by myself and read books.  
  
She hadn't looked up the whole time she was talking. She was looking at the plaid sheets. She didn't know why this was so hard. How in the world was she supposed to answer the difficult questions when they got to them?  
  
How many girlfriends have you had? she asked, knowing that she was moving them into the sensitive part of the discussion.  
  
Define girlfriend.  
  
Someone you dated for a prolonged period of time.  
  
Five, including you.  
  
She nodded.  
  
Is your mom ever going to actually kill me? he asked.  
  
Rory giggled. No, not unless one day you decide that you aren't going to pour her any coffee.  
  
Duly noted, he said, smiling for the first time since they had started this conversation.  
  
Have you ever done anything... illegal? Rory asked. She cringed, knowing that if she had asked this at any other time, she would have gotten a very unpleasant response. She was hoping that, because he had agreed, he would tell her the truth.  
  
he said. He paused for a moment. I drank. You know that. Did some drugs. A little pot... that's pretty much it. None of the really hard stuff. I shoplifted a few times. On dares. Nothing that expensive. He paused again. The first thing I ever stole was a roll of Lifesavers. I tried to eat one, but I had to spit it out and throw the whole thing away. I never used anything I stole after that. I always threw it away. Or gave it away.  
  
In her head, Rory exhaled, knowing that the worst of it wasn't as bad as she had expected. Or maybe was exactly what she had expected. Either way, she wasn't surprised.  
  
How many times have you had sex? She blurted out.  
  
Jess said, laughing quietly, It's my turn.  
  
  
  
Times, or different people? he asked.  
  
People... no, times... both, I guess, she said.  
  
Six people. I'm not really sure how many times. Maybe something in the twenties or thirties?  
  
But, you said you only had five girlfriends, including me.  
  
And Shane and I never slept together.  
  
You... you didn't?  
  
No. By that time, I already knew...  
  
Knew what? she asked.  
  
That it was you.  
  
She scooted over to him and kissed him. She snuggled against his chest.  
  
Now it really is my turn, Jess said. What was the farthest you ever went with Dean?  
  
Rory turned red.  
  
Hey, you have to answer, he said softly.  
  
I guess... let's see... um... I let him touch me. Outside my shirt. That was it.  
  
he said. She could feel him nodding above her head.  
  
Your turn, she said.  
  
I just went.  
  
But I skipped you.  
  
Well I don't have anything else to ask.  
  
Neither do I, she said, looking up at him. She stared into his eyes, trying to tell him what she wanted to say without saying it, but he wasn't going to let her get away that easy.  
  
I'm ready.  
  
Are you sure? he asked, searching her eyes.  
  
  
  
He nodded slowly. I... I don't know if I have anything with me.  
  
I'm on the Pill, she said.  
  
he breathed, surprised.  
  
So as long as you don't have...  
  
No, I've always been clean. I promise.  
  
She nodded. Your mom isn't here, is she?  
  
No, they're both working.  
  
  
  
You know... you know it might hurt? he asked.  
  
She nodded again. It's OK.  
  
We'll go slow. He was still staring into her eyes, as if he was expecting to see a wave of doubt suddenly pass through them, but there was nothing. He licked his lips and looked one last time. Her eyes were steady.  
  
He inhaled, licked his lips, and leaned in to kiss her, softer than he ever had before. He reached behind her and removed her bra, softly pulling the fabric away from her. She loved the feeling of his skin against hers. They kicked off their shoes and socks as they kissed, another thing that had become an easy habit over time. Rory heard her belt clicking against Jess' as they moved, and she felt the cold metal of it against her stomach.   
  
Jess stopped kissing her and pushed a strand of hair back behind her ear. Then, still staring straight into her eyes, he put one hand on the side of her face and moved the other down to her jeans. Rory could feel her stomach do flips as his hand came into contact with the zipper. He undid the button and zip. She put moved one of her own hands from Jess' back and helped him to ease her jeans down her hips so that only her pale blue underwear was protecting her.  
  
She helped him ease his loose jeans down as well. They didn't even need to undo the snap. Jess smoothed her hair again and kissed her, moving down to her collarbone, kissing down to her stomach and back up again. Her hand moved down to his boxers as if it had a mind of its own. He stopped kissing her for a moment.  
  
You don't have to, he whispered.  
  
I know, she said. She reached for the waistband and pulled his boxers off, pushing them to the side. She didn't really know what she was doing, but she could tell when she did something right by Jess' breaths as he was kissing her. After a little while, he stopped her, gently pushed her hand away. He reached one finger on each side of her underwear and pulled them down, casting them away.   
  
He straddled her, intertwining his fingers in hers, holding her hands down so that he could support his own weight over her.  
  
His eyes asked the question one last time. Are you sure?  
  
She answered the unasked question with a kiss, and with that, Jess lowered himself down onto her, into her, stopping only for a moment as she breathed in quickly. he whispered into her mouth as they kissed. After a few seconds, he pushed all the way into her, and he could feel as she wrapped her legs up around his hips to pull him down even further.  
  
They soon found their rhythm, a slow one at first, gradually increasing in pace. Jess had to hold in, make sure that he didn't come. She fit him perfectly, he could barely hold on, but he knew that he had to make up for the pain that he had caused her in the beginning. He had read that a girl's first time was never good, and he was sure that she had too. He was sure that he could contradict that for her, as long as he held on for a little bit. Just a little bit.  
  
she called out quietly, desperately, gripping his hair with her fingers tight as she came. He let go and called her name into her ear. They lay intertwined together in the sheets as they fell asleep, hands tangled in each others hair.  



	26. Smell

Rory woke up in the morning. She was about to open her eyes before she remembered what had happened the night before. She smiled to herself, trying not to move. As she slowly woke up, she felt that Jess' arm was still around her waist. She slowly turned around and looked at him. His eyes were opened. He had been watching her.  
  
she said, cautiously, smiling.  
  
  
  
So... uh...  
  
I've never held a girl all night before. Jess sat up as he said it, then he climbed off the bed and pulled on a shirt.  
  
You haven't? Rory asked from the bed.  
  
Jess looked over to her and smiled. A genuine smile. A real Jess smile that he allowed very few people to see. In fact, Rory was one of the first people he had allowed in in a long time. You know we're going back today, Jess said.  
  
Rory answered. She was sorry they were in a way, but she was looking forward to seeing Lorelai. That reminded her of something.   
  
he didn't turn from the mirror, where he was doing his hair, but she could see both his face and her own reflected back at her.  
  
You know I'm going to tell my mom, right?  
  
Jess heaved a heavy sigh, and Rory bit her lip. She probably shouldn't have brought it up so soon.  
  
  
  
He turned to look at her. Just give me a head start, OK? If she's gonna come chasing me in a tank, I'd like to be halfway to Hartford first. Who knows? Maybe I can cross the line into Canada before she finds me. He walked over to her. I'll miss you... he said, with fake tears. He turned on his heel and walked back to the mirror to finish doing his hair.  
  
She won't kill you. I told you last night... remember? Not unless you deprive her of coffee.  
  
Ah... that's right. Jess walked over to her and kissed the top of her head. You're beautiful...  
  
Jess walked out of the room before she could say anything. Rory lay in the bed a bit longer before getting up and dressing. She knew she should have showered, but she didn't want to. She knew it was vulgar, she knew it was nasty, but she wanted to smell like Jess for a little bit longer. The smell was comforting. She loved that smell.  
  
  
**A/N: I'm sorry! I'm an awful tease... So short. I was going to keep going, but I wanted this to stand on its own. I'll have the next chapter up soon, so your thirst for my... interesting.... writing will not go unquenched!  
Tell me what you hated. Tell me what, if anything, you liked. And tell me your favorite color and your shoe size... just to make things a little more interesting...  
  
-Thena**


	27. All That Mattered

I feel like that trip didn't really serve its purpose... Rory said to Jess on the way back to Stars Hollow, You hardly talked to Pete...  
  
Eh... Liz still thinks she did good. It doesn't matter. Did you have fun?  
  
Yes... I had fun.  
  
Well then that's all that matter's, isn't it?  
  
No, it's not.  
  
Jess said warningly. He didn't want to discuss his family life, and she knew it.  
  
What matters is, did you have fun?  
  
Jess' grimace turned into a smirk. Yeah. I had fun.  
  
Well _that's _all that matters. Rory smiled and turned to look at the road when she felt Jess' hand close around hers. She flipped her hand around and threaded her fingers through his.  
  
  
@@@  
  
  
  
  
My baby! Lorelai called from the other room. She came out with a Pop*Tart in hand. She hugged Rory with her free arm and then held her out at arms length. You got taller.  
  
Mom, I was gone for a few days, Rory answered.  
  
No! I swear you're taller. Or else... something's different... Lorelai squinted, observing her daughter. Rory looked away, trying not to seem guilty. Ah well, just me being crazy. So, how was your trip?  
  
It was good... It was great actually. We did a lot of stuff.  
  
That's good. Stuff is always good.  
  
  
  
Yeah babe? Ooh... want to go to Al's for dinner? He's doing Cajun!  
  
Sure... but... can we just sit down first?  
  
Sure sweets... is something bothering you? Did you and Jess have a fight?  
  
Rory walked over to the couch and sat, and Lorelai came and sat with her. She layed her unfinished Pop*Tart on the table. What's wrong?  
  
Nothing's wrong... I just... Over the weekend... Rory wrung her hands uncomfortably.  
  
Lorelai prompted, her brow furrowed, anticipating the answer to her question.  
  
Jess and I had sex, Roryfinally blurted.  
  
Ah. Hm... Lorelai nodded, taking in the information.  
  
I'm sorry.  
  
Are you? Lorelai answered.  
  
Rory asked, confused.  
  
Are you sorry you did it?  
  
Rory thought back to that night. How special it was. she answered, I'm not.  
  
Lorelai responded, That's all that matters.  
  
Rory swallowed and nodded. she started tentatively,   
  
Lorelai snapped back, Oh. Sure. Just... uh... let me take a shower, OK?  
  
Sure, Mom. Come get me when you're ready.  
  
I will.  
  
Rory walked back into her room and closed the door. She didn't hear her mother rise. She was sure she hadn't. She sat on her bed. Her stomach was a jumble of feelings. She was sorry that her mother was upset... or surprised... or whatever it was that Lorelai was feeling, but she was also not sorry. She was happy. Elated.  
  
And that was all that mattered.


	28. Smiles

Good morning! Lorelai said as she and Rory waltzed into Luke's, as usual. It is a lovely morning, she continued, as they sat at the counter, Or, at least, it has the potential for being a lovely morning. She looked pointedly at Luke, who rolled his eyes and poured a cup of coffee for Lorelai and one for Rory.  
  
Wow... you didn't even fight me that time, Lorelai said, smiling.  
  
I've given up on you. You are a lost cause. He took out his order pad and posed his pencil over the paper.   
  
Lorelai called out.  
  
Make that two, Rory said. Is Jess here?  
  
Upstairs. His shift started ten minutes ago. Think you can get him up?  
  
Rory smiled. I can try, but no promises. She pushed her stool back and walked up the stairs to the apartment. Lorelai watched her go up, and for the first time since she had entered the diner, the sadness that she had been trying to hide came through. No one noticed but Luke, ever-observant Luke, and he called her on it.  
  
What's wrong?  
  
Lorelai asked, startled.  
  
You don't look so good.  
  
Oh... thanks Luke... Lorelai answered sarcastically.  
  
No... I mean, you look upset. Is everything OK?  
  
Oh yeah, everything's just hunky-dorey, Lorelai answered, looking down into her mug.  
  
Luke paused before speaking. I don't believe you for a minute.  
  
Lorelai heaved a sigh and then looked around. The diner was relatively empty, but she leaned in close to Luke, just in case. Did Jess tell you?  
  
Tell me what? Luke asked, mimicking her spy-like demeanor.  
  
About this weekend. Him and Rory...  
  
What about it?  
  
They... you know... they....  
  
  
  
Lorelai nodded.  
  
Unbelievable. This is unbelievable. That kid... he is going straight back to New York. My God! I can't believe this. Luke took off his apron and rolled it into a ball, moving to walk upstairs to where Jess and Rory were.  
  
No, Luke. Leave them.  
  
  
  
Leave them.  
  
You're... you're fine with this?  
  
I have to be.  
  
What are you talking about? You do not have to be okay with this. You... you can forbid her to see him. I would... I know I would.  
  
That won't solve anything, Luke. That's just what my parents did to me. I remember how that feels. I don't want that for Rory. I promised myself a long time ago that I would never do to her what they did to me. Lorelai sighed and looked back up the stairs. I just have to trust her now. I know that she loves him, and she thinks he loves her... God, even I believe it now. Even I've seen that he's changed in the past few weeks. She looked back down at her coffee mug, and then to Luke. Let them be. Just let them be for now. I'm not going to even confront her about it until we leave for Paris next month. Then we'll talk. We'll figure this whole thing out.  
  
Jess, reporting for duty! Rory said, announcing their arrival into the diner. Jess grumbled as he walked behind the counter, but Rory caught his eye as she sat down, and a smile appeared on both faces. Luke and Lorelai caught eyes as well, but the looks on their faces were not exactly smiles.


End file.
